


Lily

by NatSoRaven



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:29:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 27,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9304208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatSoRaven/pseuds/NatSoRaven
Summary: Lily Evans unintentionally embarks on a journey of personal growth, starting by reevaluating the current relationships in her life and setting out to form new ones. Her life and the lives of those around her are permanently changed at the end of her fifth year during OWLS, when her childhood friend attempts to change their relationship in a way she wasn't expecting.(Script format because in my mind this is a television show)(The warnings are for later chapters.)(This is a working title)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this as a way of justifying the fact that someone as loving as Lily Evans could allow herself to love people who are so mean and toxic, and so I set out to redeem the dark characters of Severus and James. Along the way, however, I discovered in my own life that sometimes good people love bad people, and that does not mean we should appreciate these people any less, but rather we should consider the depth of their compassion and encourage them to channel it towards people who are more deserving.

**Scene One, the Astronomy Tower stairwell**

_ Opens to SEVERUS sitting in a window alcove.  Behind him, the sun sets over the lake. His hair is rumpled and he is sweaty and pale. His potions book is in his lap, his eyes are closed in concentration, and his wand hand is empty while he mimes wand movements. He is repeatedly getting frustrated and muttering “no no no,” opening his eyes to cross something out in his book. He makes a few more failed attempts. He pauses. Suddenly, his eyes open wide as though he has made some kind of breakthrough, and he hurriedly scrambles for his quill and quickly writes something down in his book with an unsteady and urgent hand. He is still shaking and he reaches for his wand when LILY walks down the stairs and approaches him. She stops in front of him and sighs with relief. _

 

**LILY** ( _ happily _ ) **:** There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere. What in Merlin’s name are you doing hiding up here for? You missed dinner. 

 

_ He looks up at her, startled, as though he didn't hear her approach and didn't realize she was talking to him until now. He turns sharply on her with his wand poised.   _

 

Sev! Put that down! What's gotten into you? If I didn't know better, I'd say one of your friends has cursed you silly.

 

_ He hesitates, but then he shakes his head and returns his wand to his pocket. Though LILY showed no signs of fear, she seems to release some tension throughout her body. _

 

**SEVERUS:** Sorry, I- sorry. I'm just a bit out of it I suppose. This bloody spell of mine has been driving me bonkers for weeks.  

 

_ He looks out the window and then back at LILY. He shakes his head and chuckles and she smiles at him, understanding before he even says the words. _

 

I didn't even realize what time it is. I was struck with an inspiration while leaving class so I stopped here to jot it down, but it wasn't quite right. I guess I've been working out the kinks in it for a bit longer than I had planned.

 

**LILY:** ( _ Smiling) _ Well lucky for you, I managed to talk an elf into packing some food for you when I realized you were missing. 

 

_ She hands him a bag and he accepts it graciously, suddenly ravenous. He begins eating while he speaks to her. _

 

**SEVERUS:** Do you really think my friends are capable of cursing me mad? I know you don't like them but-

 

**LILY** ( _ with surprising anger, indicating that this is a repeated argument) _ **:** They're a bunch of slimy gits! Who knows what they're capable of, Sev!

 

_ SEVERUS stops eating and looks over to her slowly. He lets out a humourless laugh.  _

 

**SEVERUS:** “Slimy gits,” eh? You sound just like him.

 

_ LILY’s eyebrows knit together. _

 

**LILY:** Just like who, Sev? What are you even-

 

_ She cuts off as she realizes his meaning. _

 

Oh, Sev, no! I- I didn't even think- no it's just… ( _ Suddenly exasperated, though not with SEVERUS)   _ Well I can’t bloody seem to get away from the tosser!  It’s not my fault we share a common room!  It's not my fault he always makes a point of waiting until I'm within earshot to go off about you! But you know I don't think-

 

_ SEVERUS looks up at her with anger in his eyes, but as quickly as it arose, so too does it dissipate. He shakes his head and returns to shoveling food into his mouth. _

 

**SEVERUS:** I know, love. I'm sorry to even bring it up. It's just not quite fair that you get to tear apart my peers but you won't let me say a word about yours.

 

**LILY:** Well it's different with you! You get riled up because you're feeling defensive and threatened! I'm just afraid for your well-being! I've heard the rumors, you know-

 

**SEVERUS** _ (venomously) _ **:** How silly of me to assume that such a smart young witch would be immune to such trivial, petty-

 

**LILY:** I’m not doing this with you today, Sev.  I’ve had a rough few weeks preparing for these bleeding O.W.L.s and now I’m just trying to keep myself calm before tomorrow’s exam so I’m not going to just sit here letting you yell at me when I should be off doing a final review and catching up on sleep! I shouldn’t have had to spend the better part of two hours stressed out and looking for you! Merlin forbid I give a damn about you. But if you insist on living your life in denial, that’s on you.

 

_ She turns to walk away.  SEVERUS drops his book and some of his other belongings in his haste to grab her arm.  _

 

**SEVERUS** ( _ sweetly and subdued, gripping her arm lightly) _ **:** Lily, please. I’m sorry. I think we’ve just been stressed lately. The more afraid I get of us growing apart, the more I lash out.  I’m sorry.  But I can’t lose you too. ( _ A beat _ .  _ A forced laugh _ ).  Maybe what they say about Slytherins and Gryffindors always at odds isn’t too far from the truth.

 

_ LILY glares at his hand on her arm but makes no move to pull away. She looks up at him and the eye contact between the two creates an almost palpable tension. _

**LILY** ( _ with heat and spite behind her words) _ **:** I have never once cared about these silly house alliances and you know that.

 

**SEVERUS:** I know.  

 

_ He breaks eye contact and looks down, slowly releasing her arm.  She lets out a long breath and shakes her head as he takes a step back. _

 

I’m sorry.

 

**LILY:** Can we not do this again? Please.

 

_ He continues to avoid eye contact but nods, mostly to himself.  He takes a few breaths and clenches and unclenches his hands. _

 

**SEVERUS:** Of course.  ( _ A beat)  _ Can I convince you to let me make it up to you? I-

 

**LILY:** You don’t have to-

 

**SEVERUS:** Please. Just… Can you meet me on the seventh floor tonight?

 

**LILY:** Why?

 

**SEVERUS:**  Just- just trust me?  I have something planned.

 

_ LILY hesitates but then nods. _

 

**LILY:** Okay.   
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Scene Two, Severus’s dorm**

_ The Slytherin dorm is empty except for SEVERUS, who is scrambling around and packing a magically enlarged, Muggle picnic basket with a blanket, pillows, and various other items that look old and fragile. It takes a few moments before SEVERUS notices a large eagle owl tapping at his window. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (opening the window and picking up the owl):  _ Oh, hello, Bertrand. I forgot I was expecting you.

 

_ He gently carries the owl to his bed, takes a letter from its beak, and strokes its head. The bird doesn't fly off, so he understands that the person who sent the letter is expecting a response.  _

 

_ He looks around at his clutter and sighs, sitting on the bed and opening the letter. _

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ voice over):  _ My dear friend, I’m sorry that I took so long to respond. Things out here have been very complicated as of late and my attention has been split between the war efforts and my parents’ constant pestering about my betrothal. It seems they can't settle on an appropriate mate for me, but quite honestly, family is the last thing on my mind. 

 

Regardless of my familial nuisances, I have managed to find time to test the spells you have sent me, and I must say that I am rather impressed. Not only are they effective, but they are also quite discreet.  I always knew you were smart, mate, but I never knew you were this good. After all, you spend so much energy chasing after that silly mudblood of yours that I hardly believed you were capable of dedicating yourself to our important cause. For someone so intelligent, you really do have the strangest taste in women. All the same, I do wish you luck in your chase if that is what will bring you joy. 

 

I eagerly await your response, and I hope with it you will send me some news of your romantic success, some new spells, or at the very least, some type of interesting anecdote that will distract me from my banal family and this exhausting war. 

 

With love,

 

Lu

 

_ SEVERUS rereads the letter and sighs, and he turns the parchment over. We see him scribble down the words “I’m just off to the 7th floor now, as we discussed last month. I will write back soon. Try to endure a day without my inarticulate rantings. With love, Prince.” _

 

_ He returns the letter to the owl and it flies out the still open window. SEVERUS finishes packing up his objects and runs out the door. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Scene Three, the Seventh Floor**

_ LILY paces back and forth in a random corridor on the seventh floor, not knowing where exactly to meet SEVERUS and knowing that it is past curfew. She has a look of mingled fear, determination, and anticipation on her face as she paces. She is twiddling her fingers and looking around.  _

 

_ Suddenly, SEVERUS rounds a corner and his expression turns from frantic to relieved. _

 

 **SEVERUS** _(sighing)_ **:** There you are! I've been looking all over for you! What are you doing over here?

 

 **LILY** _(quickly)_ **:** Well you didn't exactly say where I was supposed to meet you, and when you didn't show up I started wandering around, thinking that maybe you were hiding, and then I got sort of lost and figured I’d stay here and then-

 

_ SEVERUS puts his hands on her arms and stills her pacing. He looks her straight in the eyes. _

 

( _ Softer but still panicked)  _ I wasn't sure if-

 

_ SEVERUS’s soft smile and intense eye contact cuts her off. He chuckles. _

 

**SEVERUS:**  I’m here now. ( _ He looks at her, trying to derive some understanding from her expression but eventually gives up. He smiles.)  _ Hello, Lil.

 

_ He hugs her and she laughs. _

 

**LILY:** So where is this big surprise you've been promising me? I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I'm a prefect and we don't typically enjoy breaking curfew.

 

_ SEVERUS smiles and grabs her hand, leading her along the corridor.  _

 

**SEVERUS:** Right this way, your royal prefectness.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Scene Four, The Room of Requirement**

_ Before any visual: _

 

**LILY:** Sev, what is this place?

 

_ We see the room transformed into the forest where LILY and SEVERUS bonded as children.  They are in a small grass clearing, entirely surrounded by trees so tall that the tops are not visible. A gentle, golden light surrounds the two in a comforting glow. On the ground sits the partially unpacked picnic basket, with a blanket spread out and a stuffed bear sitting beside it.  _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (looking at her expectantly with a smile):  _  Don’t you recognize it? It was the only place I ever felt comfort back in that town, but looking around now I realize I may have only felt that warmth because you were there with me.

 

**LILY:** Of course I recognize it, but how are we here? Did we Disapparate? 

 

_ SEVERUS understands her confusion and chuckles softly. She glares at him and he holds up his hands. _

 

**SEVERUS:** I’m not laughing at you, I just didn't realize you have never been here.  You're a prefect, after all. I would’ve suspected that they had told you about all the hiding places in this school.

 

This is a special room that not many people know about. Lucius is the one who actually told me about it in the first place, or else I would've never found it. Apparently this room is spelled to give you whatever you're looking for… all you have to do is ask.

 

_ LILY lets go of SEVERUS’s hand and begins to slowly wander around the clearing while SEVERUS looks after her longingly, touching trees as she passed. _

 

**LILY:** It all seems so real! ( _ She turns back to him with excited eyes)  _ Thank you for showing me this! Thank you for bringing me here. 

 

_ She walks over and hugs him, and as she steps back her foot hits the blanket. She looks down, gasps quietly, and then bends down to pick up the teddy bear. _

 

I can't believe you still have this! I gave this to you years ago!

 

_ She looks down fondly at the bear in her hands.  SEVERUS looks at her with the same fondness. _

 

**SEVERUS:** It was the only thing that helped me stay calm at home with my parents. ( _ A beat.)  _ I thought we could use a getaway. Away from the Hogwarts politics. 

 

_ She looks up at him and takes a step closer.  _

 

**LILY:** That was so thoughtful. Thank you. 

 

_ LILY makes herself at home and sits down on the blanket, still holding and smiling at the teddy bear.  He sits down next to her and slowly takes the bear out of her hands, replacing it with both of his hands. _

 

_ She looks up, not surprised at his affectionate gesture but rather intrigued and curious about what he is struggling to say. _

 

**SEVERUS** ( _ strained) _ : Lily, I know we've been struggling recently, but I want you to know that your friendship is so important to me. It keeps me grounded through all of these troubling times. I'd like you to know that I'm sorry for hurting you ever-

 

**LILY:** Hush now, Sev. Don't worry yourself about it, I understand. We've both been rather harsh to one another. 

 

_ She holds both of his hands between her two and she pats them.  _

 

You're my best friend, Severus. 

 

**SEVERUS:** And you're mine.

 

_ They look at each other intensely for a long moment. Then SEVERUS sprints forward and says what's been on the tip of his tongue forever. _

 

Lily, I think I'm in love with you. 

 

_ He leans forward and kisses her, grabbing both sides of her face in his haste.  _

 

_ At first she seems to melt into the kiss, but then her reaction flips and she’s grabbing his hands with hers and trying to rip them off of her as she pulls away.  She crawls back a few feet, but then is still.  Her face is flashing between hurt, excitement, and confusion.  _

 

_ SEVERUS looks at the spot that used to be LILY, his face frozen in shock, his eyes wide, and his hands still in the air. _

 

**LILY:** Sev, I-

 

**SEVERUS** _ (softly) _ **:** You don’t love me.

 

_ He stands slowly and brushes off his robes, refusing to look at her. _

 

**LILY:** No, Sev, I just- I don’t- this is so-

 

**SEVERUS:** You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear.  I’m sorry to have wasted your time.

 

_ He turns toward the door and walks out with surprising steadiness.  He leaves without turning back while LILY continues to call after him with half-thoughts.  The closing of the door echoes and the light surrounding LILY turns from gold to grey. _

 

_ She looks around and sees the bear beside her.  She picks it up and holds it close. _

 

_ She looks back at the door. _

 

**LILY** _ (whispering) _ **:** Sev.

 

_ She weeps quietly into the bear. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (literally straight from the book)

**Scene Five, The Next Day, By the Lake**

_ SEVERUS wanders out of the front door, mind still back in the Great Hall after that test.  He holds the test in his hand with a particularly firm grip on the word “Werewolf.”  He looks disgruntled, as though he hadn’t slept at all. His hair is greasy and disheveled from him repeatedly running his hands through it.  He walks out from behind the bushes and SIRIUS and JAMES see him and begin walking towards him.  LILY is by the lake with a friend, but can’t help but look over when she hears the boys begin to talk. _

 

**JAMES:** All right, Snivellus?

 

_ SEVERUS instinctively drops his bag and pulls out his wand, but JAMES reacts quicker _

 

Expelliarmus!

 

_ SIRIUS begins to laugh as SEVERUS’s wand flies out of his hand.  SEVERUS shows no emotion on his face, as though he is numb to all of his surroundings, but he quickly looks over to LILY.  The movement is so brief that no one notices. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Impedimenta!

 

_ SEVERUS is blown off his feet towards his wand, his robes rumpled around him and his body looking more broken than it should, as though he’s completely given up on the idea of fighting back or preserving his dignity. _

 

_ Students start to look and crowd around with mixed reactions.  REMUS makes a point of staring at his book while PETER fights to get a better view. _

 

_ SEVERUS is panting from having the wind knocked out of him by the spell. _

 

**JAMES:** How’d the exam go, Snivelly?

 

**SIRIUS** _ (with spite, nearly spitting out the words) _ **:** I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment.  There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.

 

_ The people watching begin to laugh, PETER’s cackle cutting through the crowd in his attempt to show his approval of SIRIUS’s joke. SEVERUS looks around and sees AVERY and MULCIBER in the crowd, and the fight is reignited in him.  His eyes heat and he begins to struggle and pant against the invisible constraints that hold him awkwardly on the ground. _

 

**SEVERUS:** You - wait.   _ (He looks around and then glares daggers at JAMES.)   _ You - wait…

 

**SIRIUS** _ (in an attempt to appear aloof, he looks down at his fingernails): _ Wait for what?  What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?

 

_ SEVERUS shouts a stream of profanities and curses as he struggles on the ground. _

 

**JAMES:** Wash out your mouth.  Scourgify!

 

_ SEVERUS began choking on the bubbles that appeared in his mouth. He closes his eyes and struggles to breathe. _

 

_ LILY jumps to her feet but she stays by the lake. _

 

**LILY:** Leave him ALONE! __

 

_ JAMES, SIRIUS, and SEVERUS look over to her, and JAMES unconsciously runs his hand through his hair. _

 

**JAMES** ( _ trying to appear confident) _ **:** All right, Evans?

 

**LILY** ( _ her voice is quiet but even more commanding and chilling than before) _ **:** Leave him alone.  What’s he done to you?

 

**JAMES:** Well, it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…

 

_ The only members of the crowd that don’t laugh are REMUS, who is still focused on his book, and LILY, who stares at JAMES with contempt. _

 

**LILY** _ (coldly) _ **:** You think you’re funny ( _ she spares a glance to SEVERUS who is making a point of avoiding her gaze)  _ but you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave. Him. Alone.

 

**JAMES:** I will if you go out with me, Evans.  Go on… Go out with me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.

 

_ SEVERUS stops choking and spits out the last of the suds, and he begins to fight his way towards his fallen wand as the curse wears off. _

 

**LILY:** I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.

 

**SIRIUS:** Bad luck, Prongs. ( _ He sees SEVERUS crawling away)  _ OY!

 

_ SEVERUS casts a silent spell and a gash appears on JAMES’s face, but JAMES reacts quickly, and soon SEVERUS is dangling in the air by his ankle, his robes falling away to show his underwear.  The crowd laughs.  LILY looks concerned and steps towards him. _

 

**LILY:** Let him down!

 

**JAMES:** Certainly.

 

_ SEVERUS falls hard with a flick of JAMES’s wand, but before he can detangle himself and stable himself on his feet to fight back, SIRIUS hits him with a Petrificus Totalus, and SEVERUS falls to the ground, completely rigid. _

 

**LILY** ( _ fear edging into her voice and her breathing increases in rhythm):  _ LEAVE HIM ALONE! ( _ She pulls out her wand.) _

 

_ The bullies take a step back and look at each other quickly, looking afraid at the anger that is coloring LILY’s face and causing her white-knuckle grip on her wand. _

 

**JAMES** _ (sincerely) _ **:** Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you.

 

**LILY** : Take the curse off him, then.

 

_ James sighs and releases SEVERUS. _

 

**JAMES:** There you go.  You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus - 

 

**SEVERUS:** I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!

 

_ There’s a hush as LILY and SEVERUS allow what he said to sink in. _

 

**LILY** ( _ with false bravery) _ : Fine.  I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.

 

_ Everything is muted and dimmed but SEVERUS’s face as he realizes what he has said to LILY and how she has responded.  We hear JAMES say “Apologize to Evans!” and LILY retort with “I don’t want YOU to make him apologize.  You’re as bad as he is…” JAMES nearly squeaks as he says “What? I’d NEVER call you a…” and the argument fades away and SEVERUS stands alone, surrounded by silence for a moment.  It fades back in as we hear LILY say “...with that fat head on it.” _

 

**LILY:** You make me SICK.

 

_ LILY turns and storms off. SEVERUS sees only her and we barely hear JAMES call after her. LILY glances over her shoulder, and we see that she is crying. _

_ _


	6. Chapter 6

**Scene Six, In the Prefect’s Bathroom**

_ LILY is sobbing as she walks in.  She throws her bag to the floor, rips off her robes, and proceeds to the sink to splash her face with water.  The door creaks open as a hesitant REMUS peaks his head in. He looks flushed, as though he has just run, and he tries to be quiet as he observes her, but eventually he decides to cough and fully walk into the room. _

 

_ LILY turns around, startled. He holds up his hands and doesn’t advance at all.  _

 

**REMUS** ( _ softly) _ **:** I’m sorry.  I wouldn’t dare overstep my bounds, and if you want me to go, I will. I just couldn’t- I didn’t want-  _ (he shuffles around in his bag and pulls out a candy bar)  _ Would you like some chocolate?  It always seems to help me when I’m….

 

_ He waits silently. She looks him over, trying to discern what his agenda might be, but she does not advance or retreat. She just stares at him, and then her gaze settles on the chocolate. _

 

I don’t bite, I promise. ( _ He chuckles inwardly and sighs).  _ At least, I won’t right now. Please, take it.

 

_ He steps forward slowly and hands her the chocolate, which she takes.  She looks at him and then takes a bite. _

 

**LILY:** Thank you. ( _ A beat.)  _ Remus, why do you put-

 

**REMUS:** Lily, please don’t. I… I can’t make any excuses for their behavior. I honestly can’t.  When they do those things and act that way, I can hardly recognize them as the same boys I know. I can hardly even look at them.  _ (He drops his head and steps back, pinching the bridge of his nose.)  _ But they’re the best friends I’ve ever had. They’re ( _ he chuckles and shakes his head) _ the ONLY friends I’ve ever had.

 

**LILY:** Remus, I- ( _ she reaches out) _

 

**REMUS** _ (stepping back, holding his hands up again):  _ Please trust me.  I’m not… I’m not indulging in some insecurities here. I’m merely stating a fact.  I have been so alone for my entire life.  These boys… well. They’re a bit of a hot mess. They can be petty and nasty and mean… But they’re mine.  They would do anything for me, and I them.  

 

_ (He looks at her and sees her eyes start to soften as she takes in his words. His tone turns from soft and genuine to something more lighthearted.) _ Honestly, when they’re not trying to impress all their peers, they’re really quite selfless. Noble, even. ( _ He rolls his eyes.) _

 

**LILY** ( _ releasing a breath and laughing a bit) _ **:** Yes, but when AREN’T they trying to impress all their peers.

 

 _They look at each other and laugh softly. LILY finally wipes her eyes and removes the makeup that has run down her face. REMUS pulls out another chocolate bar for himself and takes a generous bite.  He gestures behind himself and the two approach the edge of the bathtub and sit.  They eat their chocolate in silence. LILY scoots in closer and rests her head on REMUS’s shoulder. He starts upon the initial contact, but when he looks at her gentle face and peaceful expression, his body relaxes and he wraps an arm around her, allowing himself this one small dose of physical intimacy.  Her arms rest on her lap until he snatches them up, pulls them into his lap, and holds her small hands in his large, scarred hand. They both seem to sink into the position as they share a peaceful silence.  They sit there, just breathing._

 

**REMUS:** I’m sorry about what happened out there.  ( _ He hesitates as he wonders how far to push their new closeness. He releases a breath slowly. Suddenly he speaks in an irritated tone.) _ I’m sorry, but I cannot believe he would call you that.  I thought- the two of you seemed so-

 

_ LILY cuts him off with a sigh. _

 

**LILY:** Yes, we did, didn’t we. I’m honestly not too sure what happened.  Last night… he tried… and I just wasn’t… 

_ She sighs again and shakes her head slightly, frustrated with her inability to complete her thoughts. _

 

He does this, you know.  Of course, it has never been this bad before, but… Well. This isn’t the first time he has felt rejected and then lashed out.  One time he thought I forgot his birthday and he didn’t talk to me for a week.  It wasn’t until I cornered him and shoved the new potions kit in his face that he realized I hadn’t forgotten after all. ( _ She reflects a bit.)  _

 

But then he apologized.  __ He always apologizes.  And they’re always so heartfelt and I always see how much he is hurting so I forgive him… I always forgive him.

 

_ REMUS removes one of his hands from his lap and uses it to tuck back a fallen strand of LILY’s hair as a few tears roll down her face. They sit quietly for a bit longer. _

 

**REMUS** _ (softly, barely above a whisper, approaching this delicately because she’s on the verge of shattering) _ **:** Now, I know I’m no expert in friendships or… whatever you had with him. But I do know that you don’t deserve to be punished for his shortsightedness.  If he keeps lashing out and then follows it up with an apology, I mean, which is the norm?  The pain or the repentance? And is his pain really greater than yours?  Do you really deserve the way he treats you?

 

_ He looks off at the door and sighs again.  _

 

Maybe I’m wrong, but I have never known you to deserve any kind of hurt.  And honestly, who does?  Why do we allow ourselves to be hurt by those we claim love us? 

 

Lily… lovely Lily… you are so kind, and loving… and if he would doubt that for a second and then punish you for HIS doubts.. Well, then.  He doesn’t deserve even a glimmer of your greatness.

 

_ LILY lifts her head from his shoulder and looks at him intensely as she digests his words.  And then she breaks and begins to sob harder than before as the truth settles in.  REMUS holds her close and whispers into her hair as he strokes her back.  He is very uncomfortable at first, being a complete novice in this department, but he quickly learns how to comfort her and adjusts his position in order to hold her more tightly. _

 

**REMUS** ( _ whispering) _ **:** You’re so lovely, Lily.  So lovely.  Shh. I’ve got more chocolate if you’d like.

 

_ She chuckles through her tears and slowly the sobs begin to ebb away. They continue to hold each other for a while. _

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (also mostly from the book)

**Scene Seven, Outside of the Gryffindor Common Room**

_ SEVERUS is still in his robes from earlier, the grass and soap stains still covering his clothes.  LILY stands in the hallway in her dressing gown. Her arms are folded across her chest to stop her hands from shaking, but otherwise her position implies confidence. SEVERUS is scrambling up from his spot on the ground. _

 

**SEVERUS:** I’m sorry.

 

**LILY:** I’m not interested.

 

**SEVERUS:** I’m sorry!

 

**LILY** _ (words dripping with venom) _ **:** Save your breath. I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.

 

**SEVERUS:** I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-

 

**LILY:** Slipped out? It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends - YOU SEE! You don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be!  You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?  I can’t pretend anymore.  You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.

 

**SEVERUS:** No - listen, I didn’t mean -

 

**LILY:** \- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?

 

_ He struggles to form the words as she glares at him and begins to climb back through the portrait.  He reaches out and grabs her arm roughly and pulls her back. She stumbles a bit and her brave facade fades as fear, grief, and betrayal cross her face. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (imploringly) _ **:** But you are different.

 

_ LILY stares blankly for a second and then turns to look through the portrait hole.  She sees REMUS put down his book and stand up. _

 

**LILY:** We’re done here, Severus.

 

_ She rips her arm back from his grip and runs through the portrait hole. SEVERUS stands dumbfounded and watches as a crying LILY runs into REMUS’s arms.  The slam of the portrait hole breaks SEVERUS out of his trance and he storms off. _

_ _


	8. Chapter 8

**Scene Eight, The Slytherin Dorms**

_ SEVERUS storms into his dorm and slams the door behind him, making two of his roommates look up briefly before averting their eyes.  He sees the picnic basket beside his bed and propels it in the air with his foot, leaving it to fall in a crash.  He draws his curtains, rips off his robes, and sits down on his bed.  Suddenly, his body contracts as though he has just been punched, and with his face in his hands he begins to cry.   _

 

_ A few minutes pass and eventually he composes himself, looks up, and feels tapping on his arm. The eagle owl is back with a small letter.  SEVERUS unceremoniously retrieves the letter and opens it.  He reads it quickly and then pulls out a quill and parchment of his own, and begins to write. _

 

_ We see his words: “Dear Lu, you were right.  You have always been right.  I am done with that insufferable Mudblood and her gang of rowdy Gryffindors.  They’re -” _

 

_ He stops writing to wipe away his tears and crosses out the words he has written.  A tear falls onto his page. _

 

_ “Dear Lu, I would love to spend the summer at the Manor with you.  When would you like me to arrive?  Yours, Prince” _

 

_ He quickly folds the letter and gives it to BERTRAND, who then flies off. _

 

_ SEVERUS reaches under his bed and grabs his worn-out potions book.  He flips to a page where he does not have many notes written, he finds a margin he likes, and he writes down the words “For enemies.” _

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Scene Nine, The Hogwarts Express**

_ It is the end of summer and the students are all heading back to Hogwarts.  SEVERUS walks down the aisle and sits in a compartment with MULCIBER and AVERY.  He looks out the window and sees LUCIUS wave at him with a strange, maybe pained, expression on his face before he turns and walks off the platform. _

 

_ LILY arrives and walks down the aisle, pausing slightly when she sees SEVERUS and his crowd together.  She is obviously struggling, since this is the first year that the two are not riding the train together, but then REMUS is there and is grabbing her hand to lead her down to the compartment that he is sharing with JAMES, SIRIUS, and PETER. _

 

_ LILY hesitates just outside of the compartment. _

 

**LILY:** I can just go sit with Mary and Louise…

 

_ REMUS shakes his head and tugs her gently towards the compartment. _

 

**REMUS:** Nonsense, those girls were awful to you this summer.  You’re sitting with me, and if my friends say anything that upsets you, just say the word and I will… ( _ He thinks for a moment.)  _ I will hex them to grow a unibrow.

 

_ LILY and REMUS laugh, and after a slight pause she nods and follows him.  As she steps into the compartment, the conversation stops immediately. They stare up at LILY.  JAMES runs a hand through his messy hair and straightens his glasses.  PETER squeaks and seems to retreat into himself.  SIRIUS looks at REMUS with confusion, then over to JAMES, and then back at REMUS and LILY.  _

 

_ LILY straightens her shoulders and raises her chin before she addresses them. _

 

**LILY:** Remus has invited me to sit with you.

 

_ REMUS continues to guide LILY in until he is sitting beside PETER with LILY on his other side, separated from the boys by REMUS. _

 

**REMUS:** I thought you all could use a bit of help in the social department so I found us a new companion.

 

_ SIRIUS recovers before the others. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Well look at you, Moony.  You’ve got yourself a girlfri-

 

**REMUS:** I’ve got myself a new FRIEND and if any of you give her a hard time I will not any show restraint in hexing you.

 

**JAMES:** Brave words from a goody-two-shoes prefect like yourself, Moony.

 

**SIRIUS:** Oh blimey, now we have TWO prefects sitting with us. Well this is just PERFECT.  Now we won’t be allowed to do anything fun.

 

**REMUS:** If the “fun” you’re referring to is illegal like it was last time, I should imagine you would refrain from those activities regardless.

 

_ SIRIUS looks at him for a second, but then he smirks and laughs, lightly punching REMUS’s shoulder while the rest of the compartment, apart from LILY, laughs. LILY sits quietly, unsure of her place and feeling a bit left out from their inside joke, but she feels comfortable enough to pull out a piece of parchment and a quill.  _

 

_ The boys notice her lack of participation and their laughs fizzle out as they consider their options.  _

 

_ LILY looks up when she notices their silence, and she is slightly startled to see them all looking at her again.  _

 

**LILY** : Um… I think I should go check in with the other prefects and maybe say hello to Professor Slughorn… thank you for letting me sit with you. I'll… I'll be back in a bit.

 

_ She stands up and looks over to REMUS to see him smiling with approval, and she smiles a relieved smile back.  _

 

_ REMUS stands up and turns back to his friends. _

 

**REMUS:** Yes, I should go with her. Be back in a jif.

 

_ The two walk out of the compartment. Once they are out and the door closes, REMUS gives her a glowing smile, squeezes her shoulder, and then puts a protective hand on her lower back as they walk up the aisle of the Express.  _

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Scene Ten, By the Lake**

_ The MARAUDERS and LILY sit under the same beech tree they sat beneath on the day that divided LILY and SEVERUS. REMUS and LILY are trying to explain a charm to PETER, SIRIUS is engrossed in a scene by the Lake where a few fifth year boys are play-wrestling and laughing. JAMES is pretending like he is not staring at LILY while attempting to write an essay.  _

 

_ SEVERUS walks out of the school and heads towards the Lake with AVERY, deep in conversation. _

 

_ SIRIUS peels his eyes off of the scene he is watching when JAMES nudges him slightly, both of them looking over to SEVERUS. LILY and REMUS notice this and pause what they're doing, REMUS’s hand instinctively creeping towards LILY. PETER is the last to notice, but he immediately sits up and smiles.  _

 

_ LILY grabs her wand when SEVERUS looks over at the group. He stops and faces them, but he does not approach them. AVERY notices the change and smiles at SEVERUS. _

 

_ LILY instinctively casts two Protego charms, first over the MARAUDERS and then over SEVERUS. All the boys notice it at once, particularly the order of the groups she is protecting. Surprised, JAMES looks over to LILY and she stares at him with a combination of fear, anger, and shock. _

 

**LILY:** We’re not doing this, this year.

 

_ JAMES opens his mouth to protest. _

 

Just don't, James. ( _ A beat.)  _ He’s not worth it. 

 

_ JAMES is taken aback by being directly addressed by LILY. He fights the smile that is creeping over his face and then nods at her before returning to his essay.  SIRIUS chuckles at the exchange and goes back to gawking at the boys. _

 

_ LILY looks back at SEVERUS, who is looking at her with a mix of shock and betrayal. She glares at him intensely for a moment before returning to a disappointed looking PETER.   _

 

_ SEVERUS turns around with a flourish of his robes. His robes look new and darker than before. His face is cool but his grip on his wand is too firm. _

 

_ REMUS sits back and takes in the whole situation. He sighs and shakes his head. _

 

**LILY:** What?

 

**REMUS:** Nothing. I’m just mad at myself for never thinking to do that before. Not that they would’ve listened to me… You’re much more intimidating.

 

_ LILY smiles and they go back to explaining the spell and movements to PETER. _

_ _


	11. Chapter 11

**Scene Eleven, the Gryffindor Common Room, late**

_ We open to the MARAUDERS and LILY, sitting in the cozy chairs and on the floor by the fire.  They’re drinking bottles of Butterbeer and laughing. The windows outside show that it is storming, but the mood inside does not reflect the gloom of the exterior.  LILY, as though throned, is sitting in one of the chairs, the boys all angled to face her. SIRIUS is animatedly telling a story to the gang.  MARY and LOUISE walk through the portrait hole, look over at LILY, and begin talking far too loudly for it to be unintentional. Their words are dripping with loathing and false pity. _

 

**LOUISE:** Can you believe her, Mary? First she spends all her time away from us with that nauseating Death Eater, and now she’s run off with some blokes who act like they’re still first years!

 

**MARY:** Maybe she just doesn’t feel validated without the male gaze. It’s quite sad, actually.  She kept going on and on about that slimy tosser all summer, as though her losing a “friend” was the worst thing to ever happen.  

 

**LOUISE:**  She’s too busy fussing over who rates her to remember there’s a war going on.

 

**MARY** _ (with a suggestive twinge behind her words) _ **:** Maybe she thinks she can charm her way out of this war without having to ever lift her wand. 

 

_ The girls laugh and start to walk off.  SIRIUS stands up and glares after them, about ready to burst, when REMUS grabs his wrist and pulls him back down.  _

 

_ SIRIUS grumbles a bit until the girls are out of earshot and the common room is empty. He can no longer hold in his frustrations. _

 

**SIRIUS:** PATHETIC! Those spiteful, jealous, petty slags think they can just traipse about, spreading toxic, slanderous-

 

 **LILY:** It’s fine, Sirius. They’re dreadful people, really.  Honestly I’m quite relieved to receive their disapproval.  It means I must be doing something right.

 

**SIRIUS:** Ugh, I know! But I still can’t stand it!  What are they even going on about, anyway? It’s not like you’re seeking any satisfaction from MY gaze, seeing as I tend to spend my time looking at blokes.  Prongs might fancy you-

 

**JAMES:** Hey!

 

**SIRIUS:** -but it’s not as though Moony and Wormtail are exactly vying for your attention.

 

**LILY:** Honestly, it’s fine.

 

**REMUS:** They’re just jealous.

_ LILY scoffs. _

 

**LILY:** Jealous about what?  My best friend of six years has abandoned me so I’ve thrown myself in the way of a bunch of misfits  - no offense - to try to find some semblance of peace.  

 

No. They’re not jealous. They’re just crappy friends. Rather, crappy people. When the times get tough, those girls get going. I don’t even know why I vented to Mary in the first place.  She’s a horrible gossip. ( _ She sighs.)   _ But I shouldn’t speak ill of her.  If she chooses to tear down every woman in her wake, that’s on her.  I simply prefer to spend my time in more productive ways.

 

_ She pauses again, trying to regain her composure. _

 

Quite frankly, I’m not too sure what I’d be doing right now without you clowns, but I suspect it would involve tears.

 

 _There’s a comfortable silence that follows as they all realize that her words could apply to any of them._

 

_ SIRIUS decides to break the tension, speaking in his usual cool demeanor.  _

 

**SIRIUS:** Well, adding you to the group certainly increases our overall average intelligence.  _ (He pretends to scan the group.)  _ And the average attractiveness. 

 

**JAMES:** Well coming from you, it’s hard to tell whether she should take that as an insult or not. ( _ The group looks at him with confusion.)  _ What? I’m not the one who fancies blokes!

 

**LILY** _ (lightly, so as to rile up JAMES) _ **:** Oh, so are you saying I look like an attractive bloke?

 

**JAMES:** What- no- I-

 

_ LILY laughs and reveals no real offense, and the group joins her in her laughter. _

 

_ They share in a chorus of laughter, relieving the tension they recently endured as they find a bit of peace in each other’s presence.  _

 

**SIRIUS:** Alright, boys, I think it’s time for some show and tell.

 

_ The MARAUDERS all stop laughing abruptly as they understand his meaning without a further word.  LILY looks around in confusion and slight disgust. _

 

**LILY:** That’s quite all right, Sirius, I do know what that looks like without a demonstration…

 

**REMUS:** Oh bloody hell, no! No, dear, that’s not what he meant. ( _ Turning to SIRIUS.)  _ No.

 

**JAMES** _ (to SIRIUS) _ **:** We hardly know her, Padfoot.  You can’t possibly expect us to-

 

**PETER:** Please don’t make me.

 

**REMUS:** Absolutely not, Sirius. No.

 

_ This bickering proceeds, but SIRIUS’s look of resolution does not fade, and he patiently waits while his friends have their say. LILY stares at them all with confusion. After a brief silence, SIRIUS makes his case. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Are you all quite finished?

 

_ They nod reluctantly. _

 

Well then.  I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but our little Lily here has spent the last few weeks in our company, not to mention the last five years in our house.  She has seen us at our worst, and yet she is still here.  She is actively seeking our company.

 

**REMUS:** Well, she hasn’t quite seen us at our worst…

 

**LILY:** I’m also not one hundred percent on why I’m here with you anyway, and those doubts continue to grow as you all proceed to exclude me from your telepathic conversations.

 

**SIRIUS:** _ (to LILY) _ I know, love. (To the boys) She’s not going anywhere, mates.  Not if I have any say in it. And in about a week, she’s either going to feel very isolated or she’s going to run off and figure it out herself.  She is quite bright after all. So we might as well tell her.

 

_ The MARAUDERS look at each other intensely, as though they’re trying to read one another’s thoughts.  After an extended and tense pause, JAMES turns to REMUS. _

 

**JAMES:** It’s up to you, mate. 

 

**REMUS:** I’m not the one breaking the law, James.

 

**LILY:** What was that? About a law?

 

_ JAMES looks at the other boys and then sighs. _

 

**JAMES:** Well we can’t very well tell her here.  Someone could walk down at any moment.  We need to find somewhere more private.

 

**PETER:** But it’s after curfew.

 

**LILY:** I have an idea.

 

_ The boys turn to her with a start, as though they had forgotten she was there with them.  She looks back at them with confidence, and they all begin to smile. _

 


	12. Chapter 12

****

**Scene Twelve, the Slytherin common room**

_ MULCIBER and AVERY are in serious conversation with a few unfamiliar face, and we hear words float through such as “torture” and “purify.”  SEVERUS sits near them but slightly separated, his eager hands gripping the parchment too tightly as he reads with hungry eyes. _

 

**LUCIUS** _ (voice over) _ **:** What you say comes as no surprise to me.  A selfish, thoughtless minx such as Lily naturally finds herself in the company of blood-traitors, cowards, and half-breeds. Your estrangement with her is a great relief to all of us who care about you.  You can now focus your efforts towards our noble cause.

 

I hear from Mulciber that you have been rather aloof lately, and I simply cannot have my dearest friend moping about the castle as you’ve been. That simply won’t do.

 

This weekend marks the first Hogsmead trip. I know you usually have no interest in such trivial matters, but I assure you that I will make it worth your time.  I have a surprise for you.  Go to the shabby pub at the end of the alley, the one called Hog’s Head Inn, and I promise you that you will find yourself in much better spirits.

 

Forever humbly yours,

 

Lu

 

_ SEVERUS smiles down at the letter before he folds it and tucks it into his bag.  He leaves the common room and heads to his dormitory in much better spirits than before. _

 

****


	13. Chapter 13

**Scene Thirteen, the Seventh Floor**

_ LILY and REMUS walk towards each other from opposite sides of the corridor.  They approach each other, look around one final time, and then nod. _

 

**REMUS:** All right, the coast is clear.

 

_ JAMES, SIRIUS, and PETER appear from under the Invisibility Cloak, with the former two making a big show of straightening up their backs after their previously scrunched position.  _

 

**SIRIUS** : So where’s this mystical room you’ve been droning on about?

 

**LILY:** I did warn you that I’m a bit fuzzy on the details, but if I’m not mistaken… ( _ She takes three very intentional steps past the wall, and then back, and then the ornate door appears. She turns back to them, looking hesitant but hopeful.)  _ Fingers crossed.

 

_ LILY walks up to the door and opens it without hesitation.  She looks in and smiles.  The boys are straining their necks to look around her as she looks back at them before stepping through.  They follow her inside and let the door close behind them.   They all look around in awe and appreciation. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Damn.

 

_ The room appears to be an expanded version of the Gryffindor common room, the fireplace is twice its usual size and there are five large chairs a comfortable distance from it.  Instead of the obvious deep reds of the common room, this room’s theme is much more golden, giving it a very soft and welcoming appearance. _

 

_ LILY strides over to the middle chair and plops down. _

 

**LILY:**  Well?

 

_ REMUS sweeps the room one more time before walking over to LILY, laughing and pulling her out of her chair in a tight embrace that lifts her off the floor. He sets her down gently and looks at her, beaming, before stepping back and smiling.  _

 

**REMUS:**  Remarkable.

 

**JAMES:** And here I was, thinking magic couldn’t get any more impressive.

 

**REMUS** _ (excitedly) _ **:** How does it work?

 

**LILY:** I’m honestly not too sure…  I think it just gives you whatever you ask for.  When I came up here last year, for example, the room looked like a- um… nevermind. ( _ She shakes her head and smiles. _ )  Do you like it?

 

**THE MARAUDERS:** YES!

 

**SIRIUS:** This could change everything! Maybe we could use this instead-

 

**REMUS** _ (suddenly curt) _ **:** No.

 

_ The three boys stop examining the room to look at REMUS with serious faces. SIRIUS nods. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Yes, right. Of course.

 

**LILY:** Alright, you’ve got to cut that out.

 

_ THE MARAUDERS jump, again forgetting about the new addition to their group. _

 

Honestly, boys, I brought you up here so you would stop leaving me out.  So spill. 

 

_ THE MARAUDERS stand around awkwardly, having been directly called out, and they shift their gaze from REMUS and LILY until REMUS sighs with defeat.  He gestures to the chair behind LILY. _

 

**REMUS:**  You should probably take a seat. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Scene Fourteen, Room of Requirement**

_ A day has passed.  JAMES, SIRIUS, REMUS, and LILY are gathered in the room; REMUS is writing something as he lounges in a chair while JAMES and SIRIUS duel casually and LILY sits on the floor with a few books scattered around her.  SHE is looking intently at one book.  Suddenly she throws it down and stands up, turning to JAMES and SIRIUS. _

 

 **LILY** ( _in a commanding tone)_ **:**  Do it again.

 

_ JAMES and SIRIUS turn to her and groan.  _

 

**SIRIUS** ( _ looking over at JAMES with a smirk) _ **:** Alright, go on a date with James this weekend in Hogsmead and we’ll show you again.

 

**JAMES:** Wait wha-

 

**LILY** _ (at the same time as JAMES, deadpan) _ **:** You're hilarious. Now do it again.

 

**JAMES** _ (to SIRIUS) _ **:**  I blame you.

 

**SIRIUS:** What?

 

**JAMES:** You’re the one who insisted we show her our biggest bloody secret in the world. It’s your fault she won’t stop  _ hounding _ us about it.

 

**SIRIUS:** You’re hilarious, James. And you blame me? I’m not the one who decided we need to become best friends with her. That was Moony.

 

**REMUS** _ (without looking up) _ **:** Leave me out of this. __

**LILY:** If you could all stop bickering like a bunch of hags I would greatly appreciate it.  ( _ She sighs and speaks in a gentler tone.)  _ Just one more time.  I just want to make sure you’re not damaging yourselves. ( _ She waits while nothing happens and attempts a sugary smile.)  _ I’m annoying because I care!

 

_ SIRIUS and JAMES sigh with reluctance and then transform into a black dog and a stag respectively.  They stand still as LILY walks around them slowly, casting a few silent spells over them and then stepping back to analyze the results. _

 

Hmm.  Okay, turn back, but stay still!

 

_ They obey her, humor playing across their features as their features return to their human form.  LILY makes her circle again, picks up her book as though to compare, and then looks back at them. _

 

Alright. I’m sorry to have doubted you. 

 

_ They smirk with arrogance. _

 

Well it’s not like you’re exactly top students, so you can’t blame me for being thorough.

 

_ REMUS laughs as their faces scrunch up in offense. _

 

But this is all… quite impressive.  And very selfless.  ( _ She turns to REMUS and winks.) _ Noble, even.

 

_ The two smile at their shared memory, and then LILY turns back to the other two. _

 

It’s also unbelievably reckless.  You could’ve killed yourselves!  Or killed someone else!  This isn’t very simple magic.  And Peter, PETER for Merlin’s sake, definitely did not manage this on his own, so he was putting a great deal of faith in you two… you buffoons.  ( _REMUS_ _laughs and she rounds on him.)_ You are just as guilty, sir.  You let them just mess about with this dangerous magic and- 

 

**REMUS:** Oh no, Lilybean.  You are not pinning this on me.  I tried to talk them out of it for months - years, really - but you know what results when those two get determined and put their thick heads together…    Well, I think we’re lucky that this time it resulted in fuzzy little creatures instead of… some of the alternatives.

 

**JAMES:** Who you calling “little” mate?  I’m nearly a damn moose. 

 

_ REMUS rolls his eyes.  _

 

**SIRIUS:** Maybe he wasn’t referring to your animagus form.

 

_ JAMES punches SIRIUS on the arm and they begin wrestling a bit while LILY plops herself down on the same chair as REMUS, forcing him to scoot to a side.  The two are so thin that they can sit comfortably, but their bodies are still touching. REMUS looks at his paper, making a point of avoiding her gaze.  She looks at him intensely until he eventually resigns and looks up into her large green eyes.  His composure slips. _

 

_ LILY reaches out a hand and holds his gently.  Now she is the one avoiding eye contact. _

 

**LILY** ( _ after a while) _ **:** Thank you.

 

**REMUS** _ (softly and uncertain) _ **:** For what?

 

**LILY** ( _ finally meeting his eyes) _ **:**  For trusting me.

 

_ REMUS sighs and wraps his arm around her, pulling her close as she settles in. _

 

**REMUS:** Thank you for not being cool enough to be able to make other friends.

 

_ She playfully elbows him in the ribs and they chuckle together as they watch their other friends rolling on the ground. _ _ _


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/o to Nailah for proofing this chapter and helping me flesh it out a little

**Scene Fifteen, Hogsmead**

_ LILY and the MARAUDERS walk down the street together at the front of the group of students.  Other students look at them with jealousy and desire in their eyes, sensing their intimacy and admiring their beauty as they saunter along with grace and confidence.  They walk into the Three Broomsticks and sit at a window table. _

 

_ After a long while SEVERUS walks past the window with neither parties noticing, looking slightly nervous and eager.    _

 

_ SEVERUS walks down the road until he finds the run-down pub.  He opens the door hesitantly, but his stride turns confident as he spots the white-blonde hair at the bar.  He gently taps LUCIUS’s shoulder and he whips around, spilling his mead in his haste. He sees SEVERUS and smiles broadly.  He stands up and embraces him.  _

 

**LUCIUS:** Hello, mate.  It’s been too long.

 

**SEVERUS** _ (rolling his eyes) _ **:** It’s been hardly any time at all. 

 

**LUCIUS:** Any amount of time is too long, my dear friend.  Come, I reserved a room upstairs due to the fact that I came in last night.  I have something to show you.

 

**SEVERUS:** I’m intrigued.  Lead the way.

 

_ LUCIUS grabs his bottle and heads up the backstairs to a far room. He steps aside and holds the door for SEVERUS.  SEVERUS scans the room and sees a messily unpacked suitcase and a few empty bottles on the table.  The bed is unmade, the room is dimly lit, and the wallpaper is peeling. _

 

_ LUCIUS closes the door, walks over to the opposite side of the bed, and retrieves a letter from the bedside table. _

 

**LUCIUS:**  I couldn’t possibly tell you this news in a letter, for when I received it, it was nearly too much for me to handle.  ( _ He walks over to SEVERUS and hands him the letter.)  _ I have just heard word from Lestrange.  He says that our spell has been a major success and the Death Eaters are going to be implementing it across the board. Isn’t that wonderful?

 

_ LUCIUS looks at his friend with joy but SEVERUS is still scanning the letter.  He looks up slowly, his brow wrinkling. _

 

**SEVERUS:** Lu, it says nothing about me.  You did tell him that I worked on this with you, didn’t you? ( _ LUCIUS doesn’t respond. SEVERUS’S voice rises in panic and his face colors.)  _ Didn’t you?

 

_ LUCIUS looks down at his hands that are now fidgeting. _

 

 **LUCIUS** _(shyly)_ **:** Prince… I'm sure you're going to come up with a million new useful ideas, but me? I'm nothing without you.  I just thought… you could just give me this one.

 

**SEVERUS** _ (quietly, with disbelief) _ **:** Give you- give you this one?! We worked on this all summer - I SLAVED over this spell for months!- and you want me to just “give you this one?”

 

_ LUCIUS visibly cringes at this tonal shift and takes an involuntary step back. SEVERUS’s face is sweating and his hands are clenching and unclenching as he begins to pace, but he makes no motion to grab his wand. Instead, he turns and starts to walk quickly towards the door, but LUCIUS is quicker, and he throws himself between his friend and the exit.  _

 

_ LUCIUS looks at SEVERUS with desperation.  _

 

**LUCIUS:** Severus, please.

 

**SEVERUS:** Lu, these spells… these potions… they’re everything to me.  I have no friends in that castle!  The teachers all think I’m off my rocker and probably only give me good grades because they’re frightened of me. My work is everything.

 

**LUCIUS:** No friends?  What about Avery and Mulciber?

 

_ SEVERUS scoffs and LUCIUS cringes slightly. _

 

**SEVERUS:** You’re not dim enough to really believe they’re my friends.  They’re simply a means to an end. They’re my connections.

 

**LUCIUS:** Am I?

 

**SEVERUS:** Pardon?

 

_ LUCIUS looks down and breathes heavily. _

 

**LUCIUS** _ (slowly) _ **:** Am I simply a “means to an end?”  Am I just a “connection” for you?

 

_ SEVERUS’s eyes widen in surprise.  His expression quickly softens and he steps towards LUCIUS, putting his hands gently on the man’s shoulders.  LUCIUS flinches and resists eye contact.  SEVERUS plows on regardless. _

 

**SEVERUS:** Surely you know what you mean to me?  You are so much more than a connection.  You are my only true friend in this world.

 

_ LUCIUS sighs with relief and finally meets SEVERUS’s intense gaze. SEVERUS tucks a stray lock of hair from LUCIUS’s face and tucks it behind his ear, resting that hand on LUCIUS’s cheek.  LUCIUS nods and the tension in his body is relaxed.  SEVERUS steps back and releases LUCIUS. _

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ with caution) _ **:** Can you forgive me for my omission?  

 

_ SEVERUS glares at LUCIUS for a moment before he sighs and turns around, sitting on the edge of the bed and unwrinkling the letter in his hand. _

 

**SEVERUS:** They really loved it, eh?

 

_ LUCIUS comes over to sit a comfortable distance away from him on the bed. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Obviously. The Dark Lord is no fool, and your work is incomparable. I may not have credited you on this particular spell, but I have told the others about you. Everyone is looking forward to the end of your schooling. We cannot wait for you to join us on the outside.

 

_ SEVERUS allows his happiness to seep through his body; he seems to grow a few inches and his face splits into a grin. _

 

**SEVERUS:** Do you realize what unique power you possess, Lu?

 

**LUCIUS:** I’m not sure what you mean.

 

**SEVERUS:** Well, you're the only person I know who has ever made me feel included - in anything.  If that's not magic, I'm not sure what is.

 

_ LUCIUS beams and grasps SEVERUS’s shoulder. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Speaking of including things… Do you want to tell me why you won't stop droning on about Lily and her gang of gangly goons? ( _ SEVERUS groans.)   _ I thought we worked on this, at the Manor. She’s beneath you, Prince. They all are. It's time you move on and find someone more worthy of your talents.

 

**SEVERUS:** Lu, you know that’s not true.  Lily is… special.  And as much contempt as I have for her and her little misfits, I cannot deny that they are all… unique.  I mean, Sirius is aggressively gay and also a blood traitor and yet people swarm him.  James is one of the best Quidditch players I’ve ever seen, so naturally he is quite popular and no one seems to notice he’s a complete tosser.  Remus is a bloody werewolf and yet he could charm the pants off anyone he chose to deign to speak to. Peter is nothing special, really, but Lily…  She- I- It’s difficult to put into words.  But she’s so powerful and brave and beautiful and…

 

**LUCIUS:** And entirely not worth your time if she didn’t immediately take advantage of the opportunity with which you presented her!

 

**SEVERUS:** That’s not entirely fair… I may have pushed her too far too quickly… and the pressure of exams is always altering her demeanor…

 

**LUCIUS:** Stop making excuses for that Mudblood!  

 

**SEVERUS:** Stop calling her that!

 

**LUCIUS:** Why?  It’s what she is!

 

**SEVERUS:** No!  She’s not!  She’s Lily!

 

**LUCIUS:** She called you “Snivellus.”

 

**SEVERUS:** ( _ He swallows loudly.)  _ I called her Mudblood.

 

_ LUCIUS _ shakes his head and sighs.

 

**LUCIUS:** Fine.  But I still say you need to stop.  Stop thinking of her fondly, stop talking about her, stop letting her steal your focus.

 

**SEVERUS:** Oh, like it's so easy to break a pattern? Lily was in my life for years. I'm not going to just forget she exists over night.

 

**LUCIUS:** I’m not suggesting that you should. I'm merely saying that it is time you take the matter of your happiness into your own hands. If something makes you unhappy, do something about it.

 

 **SEVERUS** _(voice rising)_ **:** Oh like you're one to talk! You keep complaining about your awful arranged marriage and your bloody parents! You keep preaching for me to take control of my happiness but I don't see you doing anything about your own!

 

**LUCIUS** _ (quiet and strained) _ **:** My situation is different. ( _ He closes his eyes and grimaces.) _ It is my duty to be paired with a suitable mate and to produce an heir. I do not have your same freedom and flexibility, the freedom you seem to be squandering away. 

 

**SEVERUS** _ (standing suddenly) _ **:** Freedom! You mean the freedom that comes at the expense of my dignity? With my filthy Muggle father and the minx that ran off with my pride? You think I’m wasting my opportunity?  You try living with these… with these awful burdens. If that is the freedom you desire then you can bloody well have it. I don’t want it.

 

_ LUCIUS stands to face him. _

 

**LUCIUS:** You know, you’re not the only one who’s hurting!  So you can bugger off because I won’t have you lashing out at me because you feel like playing the victim.

 

**SEVERUS:** _ (He laughs with outrage)  _ Are you kidding me?  Me!  Playing the victim.  You live in a mansion! With a family who loves you! With the most perfect fucking life!  

 

**LUCIUS:** You know nothing of my struggles!

 

**SEVERUS:** Yes I’m sure it is quite painful to get tears on your expensive robes!  Crying yourself to sleep at night about your fortune in Gringotts! It must be awful.

 

**LUCIUS** : Go to hell!

 

_ The two glare at each other, panting in their anger.  Then suddenly, SEVERUS lunges forward with the same force as an assault,  but instead he attacks LUCIUS with a kiss, grabbing his face and the back of his head. LUCIUS goes still.   _

 

_ SEVERUS pulls back but does not remove his hands or step away from LUCIUS.  He looks at LUCIUS with anxiety, unsure how to proceed.  LUCIUS, looking more like a child than before, with a renewed sense of wonder, searches his friend’s face briefly before he makes his decision.  An awkward pause is shared between the boys until LUCIUS forcefully grabs the front of SEVERUS’s robes and pulls him into a deep kiss. _

 

_ They move together for a while, removing robes from each other without separating from their intense embrace.  SEVERUS pulls completely away, releasing LUCIUS entirely. SEVERUS stares at LUCIUS, and we see fear and insecurity play across LUCIUS’s face as SEVERUS looks at him with an oddly predatory expression.  He pushes LUCIUS back onto the bed, causing him to sit in a plop, and LUCIUS smirks up at him.  SEVERUS’s face is serious as he lunges on top of LUCIUS and they return to snogging. _

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Scene Sixteen, The Three Broomsticks**

_ SIRIUS stands at the bar, winking a lot, laughing animatedly, and occasionally reaching over to touch the young, attractive bartender’s muscled arm. The flirting continues until SIRIUS turns around and heads back to the table, returning with four medium bottles in his hands. Once he is seated, THE MARAUDERS each grab a bottle and begin racing to finish their illegal firewhiskey.  SIRIUS beats JAMES by a hair, REMUS follows shortly after, setting down his bottle and shrugging at LILY, and PETER finishes last, following his final gulp with a hiccup. LILY watches them all with a look that is trying to be annoyed but instead appears a bit amused.  She rolls her eyes and continues to sip her butterbeer. _

 

**LILY:** I must say, Sirius.  I’m impressed. Are you sure you didn’t use a Confundus charm?

 

**SIRIUS:** Lily, love, anyone can do a simple Confundus charm.  ( _ He savors each word.)  _ Flattery, flirtation, seduction… that is a much finer art.

 

**LILY:** But how did you know the bartender was gay?

 

**SIRIUS:** Who says he is. 

 

_ SIRIUS smirks as he takes a sip of the butterbeer he had temporarily cast aside. PETER is still hung up in hiccups, JAMES is looking out the window, and REMUS is staring at the bottle, looking a bit foggy. _

 

**JAMES** _ (standing up suddenly) _ **:** Well, I’d best be off.

 

**SIRIUS:** And where the bloody hell do you think you’re going?

 

**JAMES:** Madame Puddifoot’s.  I’ve got a date.

 

**REMUS:** With who?!

 

_ JAMES looks at his reflection in the window and straightens his tie a bit. _

 

**JAMES** :  __ V alerie Johnson.  Her and her brother Finn are chasers for Ravenclaw, remember? She’s quite quick on a broom.  I wonder if flying is the only time she likes to go fast.

_ SIRIUS laughs, REMUS rolls his eyes, and JAMES turns to bask in the reactions of his friends.  When he turns, he is startled to see LILY, evidently having forgotten about his new friend’s presence.  He clears his throat, nods his head, and then walks out the door. _

**SIRIUS:** Tough break, love.

_ LILY looks over at him to see him staring sincerely at her, and she returns his stare with a look of confusion. _

**LILY:** What? I don’t care about James like that.

**SIRIUS:** Sure you don’t.

_ LILY looks quickly between SIRIUS and REMUS, her face coloring in frustration. _

**LILY:** Really!  I don’t!

_ REMUS places his slightly shaking hand on top of the one LILY was resting on the table. _

**REMUS:** He’s just trying to get a rise out of you, Lilybean.  He really only wants a wedding so he can hit on all of your male relatives.

**LILY:** Well, then, you’re out of luck, I’m afraid.  I’ve only got a sister – no cousins, either – though I doubt my sister would even come to my wedding.

_ SIRIUS leans in eagerly. _

**SIRIUS:** Do I detect some family drama?  I’ve got it in boatloads, so pray, do tell.

 

_ LILY looks up at SIRIUS, trying to figure out how to respond.  Though his statement was light and cheerful, there is a degree of sincerity and concern deeply embedded in his eyes, and LILY realizes that he is asking out of real friendship. _

 

_ LILY speaks slowly.  This is clearly the first time she has discussed the situation and so she seems very hesitant and uncertain about how to communicate her feelings. _

 

**LILY:** My sister, Petunia… When I first discovered my abilities, Petunia was frightened.  She tried to stop me, she called me a freak, she even tried to get me into trouble with our parents.  But then I met - 

 

_ She pauses as she steels herself up to talk about SEVERUS. _

 

When I met Severus, he explained everything to me.  He told me all about Hogwarts and the wizarding world, and I had never felt so safe and sure in my entire life as I had in that moment. But the closer I got to Severus… the more Petunia pulled away - and the more I pulled away from Petunia.

 

She claims she hates me and that I’m a freak… But I saw she wrote a letter to Dumbledore asking to come to Hogwarts… I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me for being different than her.  And if I marry a wizard, well, I don’t think she’d come near that event with a ten-foot pole.

 

_ SIRIUS takes it all in and nods when she finishes her story. _

 

**SIRIUS:** I’m sorry to hear that. I too have strains in my familial relations, seeing as I refuse to discriminate based on blood status. 

 

**LILY:** Oh, yes, I've heard you're something of a rebel in your family. 

 

**SIRIUS:** Yes, well, as of this summer, the Potters are now my family.

 

_ There is a tense silence as LILY tries to wrap her head around his words. _

 

**LILY** _ (slowly, choosing her words with care) _ **:** You’ve moved in with James?

 

_ SIRIUS drinks more of his butterbeer to give him something to do with his fidgeting body.  REMUS’s grip on LILY’s hand tenses a bit and his breathing gets a bit shallower. _

 

_ SIRIUS eventually nods and meets LILY’s eyes. _

 

**SIRIUS:** His parents are lovely people, you know. They took me in without a question when I showed up at their stoop. 

 

_ LILY, unsure how to respond, sits quietly for a moment. Then she stands up and moves to the seat where JAMES had been sitting, and she takes up SIRIUS’s hands in her own.  _

 

**LILY:** It might not mean anything to you, but I admire your bravery.

 

_ SIRIUS’s shock fades into pride as he smiles down at LILY. _

 

**SIRIUS:** That's very sweet, love, but I'm afraid if you continue to hold my hands you might ruin my chance with the bloke at the bar, and we can't have that, now can we?

 

_ He chuckles at her offended look and leans down to kiss her forehead. He then gets up with a wink and heads back to the bar to strike up conversation with the young bartender. _

 

_ PETER has fallen asleep somewhere in the course of the conversation, so LILY turns back to REMUS, but her smile fades as she notices his pale complexion. She looks down to see his hands trembling, but he attempts to hide this by moving his hands into his lap.  _

 

**LILY:** Remus, what's happening, what’s wrong. ( _ She turns the back of her hand to his forehead and then grabs his wrist to check his pulse.)   _ Are you ill? Was it the firewhiskey?

 

_ He chuckles softly as he grabs her worried hands in his own. _

 

**REMUS:** I’m sure the whiskey didn't help, but I always get like this by this time of the month. There's nothing to worry about, but perhaps I should head back to the castle and get some rest.

 

_ He pats her hands and attempts to leave her side, but she pulls him back down. She picks up her drink and finishes it, and then she stands and wraps an arm around REMUS’s waist, supporting him as he drapes his arm over her shoulders.  _

 

_ They stop by the bar to nudge SIRIUS and they point at a passed out PETER. SIRIUS rolls his eyes, nods, and then returns to his conversation as LILY and REMUS head out of the Three Broomsticks and back towards the castle.  _

  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Scene Seventeen, Hog’s Head**

_ LUCIUS is stretched out under a sheet with his hands behind his head, looking relaxed and yet still insecure. SEVERUS is sitting at the edge of the bed, wearing only his trousers as he laces up his boots.  His back is to LUCIUS, whose eyes are focused on his back as though they're trying to latch on and reel him back in. _

 

**LUCIUS** _ (trying not to sound desperate but clearly on the verge) _ **:** Don’t go. Stay. Just a bit longer.

 

**SEVERUS** ( _ voice devoid of emotion) _ **:** I have to return to the castle. I am still a student, you know.

 

**LUCIUS:** I’m sure we can get you back in by tomorrow. They might not even notice you're gone tonight.

 

**SEVERUS:** Filch will be at the gate with a roll sheet. Besides, I have an essay to finish.

 

_ LUCIUS, apparently unable to resist any longer, rolls over, sits up, and gently grabs a hold of SEVERUS’s upper arm. SEVERUS freezes but makes no move in either direction. LUCIUS takes this moment to scoot in closer, place his other hand on SEVERUS’s other shoulder, and he begins to place light kisses along his back, shoulders, and neck. SEVERUS allows his body to relax upon the contact and he cranes his neck to meet LUCIUS’s eager mouth with his own, his hand coming up to hold LUCIUS’s head as LUCIUS wraps his arms around SEVERUS’s waist. LUCIUS lays back and pulls SEVERUS along with him. _

 

_ SEVERUS begins to trail kisses across LUCIUS’s chin and neck and LUCIUS hums with satisfaction. _

 

**LUCIUS** _ (whispering) _ **:** Just stay.

 

_ SEVERUS pauses and looks down at him, and then he returns to kissing him. LUCIUS chuckles softly to himself. _

_ _


	18. Chapter 18

**Scene Eighteen, the Great Hall**

_ It is breakfast of the following day.  THE MARAUDERS and LILY sit closely together at the Gryffindor table.  The tone of their conversation is subdued.  REMUS is paler than the day before, and he is shaking so badly that SIRIUS takes the spoon from REMUS’s hand and feeds him his oatmeal.  LILY is lightly stroking his back and brushing his hair from his forehead.  PETER is eating slowly and carefully averting his eyes from REMUS, and JAMES is glaring at anyone who looks at his friends, effectively isolating them from their peers. _

 

**REMUS** _ (softly, though apparently exerting a lot of energy) _ **:** I appreciate what you’re doing, but perhaps I should just return to the common room and rest…

 

**SIRIUS** ( _ refusing to meet his gaze) _ **:** Nonsense.  It is breakfast time, so you’re going to eat breakfast. 

 

**REMUS:** Be reasonable, mate, this is just-

 

_ SIRIUS slams down the spoon and LILY and REMUS both jump. _

 

**SIRIUS:** I don’t understand. You’re not usually like this until the evening.  It’s not supposed to be like this. ( _ He looks up at REMUS sadly.)  _ It’s not supposed to be like this.

 

_ REMUS holds SIRIUS’s hand with surprising steadiness and shushes him softly. LILY looks at them with a slight haze over her eyes.  Suddenly her eyes widen and she quickly scavenges her bag. _

 

 **LILY** _(mumbling to herself)_ **:** It’s in here somewhere…

 

**REMUS:** Lilybean, what are you looking for?

 

_ LILY says nothing but continues her search for a few moments.  She then turns and holds up a bar of chocolate. REMUS’s tired face wrinkles into a smile as he takes the chocolate.  He struggles to open the wrappings, but he eventually manages to get to the candy and he takes a large bite.  As if by magic, he seems to steady a bit and his spirits improve. _

 

 **REMUS** _(through a mouthful of chocolate)_ **:** You’re bloody brilliant, Lilybean.

 

_ She smiles at his compliment, but her head turns as she hears the door open at the end of the hall.  Her smile falters as she sees a disheveled SEVERUS moving through the tables and sitting down at the end of the Slytherin table.  His hair is a mess, his tie is crooked, his neck and cheeks seem uncharacteristically colored, yet he has a softness to his expression and an almost dreamy smile on his usually tightly clamped lips. _

 

_ JAMES also notices the boy entering the hall, and he whistles softly to himself. _

 

**JAMES:** Hey, Padfoot.  Doesn’t it seem like dear old Snivellus…

 

**SIRIUS:**  Merlin’s saggy drawers, I think you’re right, Prongs.

 

_ REMUS looks over to LILY with concern, but LILY is looking at JAMES and SIRIUS with confusion. _

 

**LILY:** Can you boys please communicate in full sentences?

 

_ The boys look at each other in trepidation, and they look to REMUS as though hoping for an answer to their unspoken question. REMUS shrugs and shakes his head. _

 

_ SIRIUS takes a deep breath and turns towards LILY with a forced smile. _

 

**SIRIUS:** I’m sorry, love, but hopefully you will soon understand our meanings without the need for these...uncomfortable explanations.  It’s just… If we didn’t know any better, we would think that Snivelly has the appearance of a young man who has just had the shag of his life.

 

_ LILY’s eyes widen and she turns back to look at SEVERUS, and she seems to see him in a new light. _

 

**LILY** ( _ softly and monotone) _ **:** I overheard a few Slytherins mentioning that they didn’t see Severus return yesterday. I- I wonder if there’s a connection.

 

**SIRIUS:** You think he shagged someone in Hogsmead?  Hm… I mean, that makes sense.  I can’t think of anyone in the castle currently who’d be interested in shagging the bloke, so it would make sense for him to look for other… resources.

 

_ LILY’s eyes become a bit glossy as she continues to stare across the hall to SEVERUS.  After some time, SEVERUS looks up from his plate and they accidentally make eye contact.  LILY stands up and walks out of the dining hall before her friends can even make a sound of protest.  SEVERUS’s eyes follow her and he gets up to chase after her. _

 

_ JAMES sees the exchange and rushes out after the two, being chased by the sounds of SIRIUS and REMUS calling after him, but neither make an attempt to follow, and they return to the business of feeding REMUS. _

 

_ In an alcove right outside of the Great Hall, LILY is breathing heavily, on the verge of hyperventilation, behind a thin curtain.  She sees SEVERUS run past, looking around with desperation.  She clamps a hand over her mouth and is as silent as possible until he is out of earshot.  JAMES follows after him in much of the same manner, and she again stays silent to keep her location a secret. _

 

_ When they’re gone, she closes her eyes and focuses on slowing her breathing. When she manages to bring her pace to something more comfortable, she opens her eyes to see a girl standing over her.  The girl seems slightly older than LILY, with large, silvery eyes, pale skin, and a few flowers and twigs sticking out randomly throughout her soft, light brown wavy hair. _

 

_ The girl raises her eyebrows and gestures to the ground beside LILY, and LILY nods.  The girl tilts her head, as though examining LILY, and then she gently seats herself beside LILY. She speaks softly, with a musical tone to her voice that made it carry through the air like a gentle hug.   _

 

 **PANDORA:** I’m sorry to disturb you.  I left the Great Hall when I saw two angry looking fellows chasing after you. Lucky for us, they aren’t quite as observant as I am. ( _She looks at the curtain in front of them instead of at LILY, and she has the same inquisitive look on her face as she had before. She then slowly turns to LILY and holds out a slightly dirty hand.)_ I’m Pandora.

 

_ LILY examines her hand and then shakes it. _

 

Sorry for the dirt.  I woke up early to mess about in the greenhouses because I had a dream about crossing different breeds of - well, never mind.  ( _ She looks at LILY with an unreadable expression.)  _ Would you like to talk about why you’re hiding here?

 

_ LILY shakes her head softly and a tear falls down her cheek.  PANDORA watches it fall and smiles to herself. _

 

Tears are quite queer, aren’t they? The way they glitter and light up your eyes, yet carry such sadness and fear.  Your eyes are quite a lovely shade of green, you know, but now that they are tearing up a bit, they are simply dazzling.  

 

_ PANDORA looks at her for a few more moments, and then she stands and offers a hand to help LILY off the floor. LILY takes it and stands slowly, wiping away the few tears with her other hand. PANDORA feels around her head until she locates a white daisy, pulls it gently out of her hair, and tucks it behind LILY’s ear. _

 

There, now you’ve got bright eyes AND a bright flower. 

 

_ She smiles at LILY and they exit the alcove.  PANDORA begins to walk away. _

 

**LILY:** Wait! ( _ The exclamation seems to surprise herself more than PANDORA, who turns back to her with her head slightly tilted.)   _ Lily.  My name is Lily.

 

**PANDORA:** Lilies are pretty, too. ( _ She waves her hand and transfigures the daisy in LILY’s hair into a lily.) _

 

**LILY:** Thanks… uh, thank you for being observant.

 

_ PANDORA smiles a wide smile and then turns and skips down the hall, whistling to herself as she goes. _

 

_ LILY stares after her a bit until JAMES rounds the corner and runs up to LILY.  He sighs with relief and almost hugs her, but he stops himself and takes a step back.  He bends his neck and knees a bit so he can look LILY in the eye, but LILY is still looking at the spot where she last saw PANDORA. _

 

**JAMES:** Lily, are you alright?  I found Snivellus skulking in the other corridor, but when I couldn’t find you, I just assumed the worst…

 

_ LILY looks into his hazel eyes and sees genuine concern, fear, and confusion, and she smiles dreamily. _

 

**LILY:** I’m fine.  I was… with a friend.

 

_ She turns and starts walking back towards the Great Hall and JAMES falls into step beside her. They walk in silence a bit while JAMES looks at her, still concerned and confused but slightly less tense than he was before. _

 

**JAMES** _ (pointing to the lily) _ **:** Has that been there all morning? 

 

_ LILY smiles broadly and grabs his arm, dragging him along with her at a faster pace while she laughs at his confused expression. _

_ _


	19. Chapter 19

**Scene Nineteen, the Gryffindor Common Room**

_ LILY sits alone at a table with her charms book open in front of her as she writes something on parchment.  She looks very focused and doesn’t notice when the group of girls walking past her stops and stares at her, whispering to each other. MARY approaches LILY with a book held across her chest. _

 

**MARY:** Well this is a rare sight.

 

_ LILY jumps and looks up, but after the initial surprise her face defaults back to a serious and neutral expression. _

 

One hardly ever sees you without your entourage these days.  Where are all of your lovely little boys?

 

_ LILY considers her for a moment and then turns back to her essay. _

 

**LILY:**  Aren’t you going somewhere?  We wouldn’t want to keep your friends waiting, now would we.

 

_ MARY looks over her shoulder towards her friends in a brief moment of uncertainty and insecurity, but then turns back to LILY and raises an eyebrow at her. _

 

**MARY:** We’re just off to the library to finish up some last minute work.  Care to join us?

 

**LILY** _ (eyes never leaving her paper) _ **:** I’m alright, thanks.

 

_ MARY, clearly not expecting to be rejected, stands still for a moment before she turns around dramatically and marches off with the other girls.  When LILY hears the portrait close, she looks back to make sure they are all gone before she allows her body to relax.  She exhales and shakes her head, setting back to work on her essay. _

 

_ She is interrupted again by the sight of a small toad bouncing onto her parchment, a small note held in its mouth.  She chuckles softly before taking the letter and opening it slowly. _

 

_ The letter reads:  “Care for some tea?  The kitchen is quite quiet at this hour.  Cheers, P.” _

 

_ LILY packs up her belongings and returns them to her bag.  She gently scoops up the toad and it gurgles in appreciation as she begins to absentmindedly stroke its head. _

 

_ LILY heads out through the portrait hole without a moment of hesitation. _

_ _


	20. Chapter 20

**Scene Twenty, the Room of Requirement**

_ SEVERUS sits alone on a sofa in front of a small fireplace.  His eyes begin to flutter shut as he drifts in and out of sleep.  He is abruptly awoken by a sputtering in the fire, so he responds by dropping to the floor and crawling over to the edge of the fireplace. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (whispering) _ **:** Lu?

 

**FIRE:** Are you alone?

 

**SEVERUS:** Of course I am, you nitwit.

 

**FIRE:** Stand back.

 

 _SEVERUS scrambles back away from the fire as it roars large and green and LUCIUS steps through.  He brushes off his sleek robes, showing clear disgust at his state of travelling, but then his eyes fall to the base of the sofa_ _and he sees SEVERUS’s wide-eyed expression.  LUCIUS smiles and extends a hand, and SEVERUS accepts the assistance to stand, meeting LUCIUS with a brief hug._

 

_ The two young men look at each other for a while until SEVERUS breaks the moment by smacking LUCIUS none too lightly on the arm. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Ow!  What was that for?

 

**SEVERUS:** Why didn’t you ever tell me that you could visit me while I was stuck in this prison!

 

_ LUCIUS chuckles, shakes his head, and shrugs in earnest. _

 

**LUCIUS:**  Maybe you never needed me before now. That is what this room brings, does it not?   I guess you just never wanted me enough until-

 

_ SEVERUS pounces on LUCIUS and kisses him eagerly, trying to remove his robes and LUCIUS allows him for a moment, a smile on his face. LUCIUS brings his arms up to grab SEVERUS’s and gently push him back.  SEVERUS looks offended by the gesture but LUCIUS smiles at him softly.  _

 

**LUCIUS:** Are we going to talk about this?

 

_ SEVERUS looks anywhere but LUCIUS’s eyes and squirms a bit under the older boy’s scrutiny.   _

 

 **SEVERUS** _(mumbling)_ **:** I can talk to you in a letter.  I’d rather spend our time in person a bit differently.

_ LUCIUS’s restraint falters and he allows himself to be persuaded by SEVERUS’s half-hearted words, pushing his reluctance and reservations down as SEVERUS wraps his arms around him.  _

 

 _LUCIUS_ _appears powerless in SEVERUS’s arms as he is led backwards, rather roughly, towards the sofa which has now transfigured itself into a rather large four-poster bed._

 

_ It isn’t until LUCIUS is sitting on the bed and SEVERUS is removing his own robe that he attempts to speak again, though this time much more quietly. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Shouldn’t we even-

 

**SEVERUS:** No.

 

_ LUCIUS looks up at SEVERUS with apprehension before he swallows and nods, averting his eyes from SEVERUS’s face and instead looking down as he scoots back and allows SEVERUS to crawl into the four-poster with him, and the curtains fall closed. _

_ _


	21. Chapter 21

**Scene Twenty-One, the Kitchen**

_ LILY opens the door with hesitation as she pokes her head and wand in the entrance.  Despite her defensive stance, she does not seem afraid, but rather curious and cautious.  She can’t help but smile and walk the rest of the way into the room when she sees PANDORA seated at the end of the long room.  PANDORA sits on a cozy couch next to an inviting fire and an ornate tea set.   _

 

_ Upon LILY’s entrance, a group of house-elves rush toward her with a plate of pastries and a chorus of “Hellos missus” and “What would you like, ma’am” as they swarm her. _

 

_ PANDORA looks up and waves to LILY, and she politely avoids the elves and walks over to join the girl near the fire. _

 

_ PANDORA pours them both tea and begins a conversation without any type of introduction. _

 

**PANDORA:** I was out for an evening stroll when I saw your group of friends wandering about.  I noticed your absence.  Are you upset with them?

 

_ LILY removes the teacup from her lips and nearly chokes in her haste to respond. _

 

**LILY:** Oh no, I’m fine- we’re fine.  I just… I had some work to finish tonight so I figured I’d let them be.

 

**PANDORA:** There’s no need to lie to me, although I can imagine that watching your friend transform into a werewolf might be a bit distracting if you’re attempting to complete schoolwork.

 

_ LILY spit out her tea and set down her cup as elves rushed to clean up her mess. _

 

I’m sorry, was that not common knowledge?

 

**LILY:** No, it- it wasn’t.  But we’ve already established that you’re a bit more observant than most, so I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.  You, um, you aren’t weirded out that I’m friends with a werewolf?

 

**PANDORA:** Oh, quite the opposite really. He seems like a lovely person and I’d be interested in hearing more about your friendship with him.

 

**LILY:** Um, yes, he is quite lovely, but I actually didn’t know he was werewolf until quite recently. Although, I tend to be a bit blind to the more harmful aspects of the people I’m close with, so naturally I would be entirely oblivious to this, too.

 

**PANDORA:** Was that a reference to your Death Eater friend?

 

**LILY:** Are you stalking me?

 

_ LILY looks ashamed by her rude tone but PANDORA simply smiles. _

 

**PANDORA:**  I see a lot of things happening to a lot of people, but I prefer to study creatures and plants.

 

_ LILY takes the non-answer as a blessing and just nods despite her confusion. _

 

Do you care for some treacle tart?

 

_ LILY’s face lights up and then she chuckles at her own eagerness. _

 

**LILY:** Yes, I would love some.  It’s my favorite, but I’m sure you already knew that.

 

_ PANDORA smiles and passes a plate.  Her gaze slowly shifts to the fire and she sits in peace for a while before she leans over the side of the sofa and pulls up a small stringed instrument. _

 

**PANDORA:** Do you mind if I play a bit?  I fear I’m quite out of practice and I could really use some objective feedback.

 

**LILY** _ (through her full mouth) _ **:** No, please, be my guest.  Violin?

 

**PANDORA:** Viola, actually. I believe it has... a bit of a rounder sound.

 

_ LILY nods and leans back into the cushions as PANDORA begins to play an eerie and hypnotic tune, and LILY’s eyes fall shut as she is carried off to a state of peace by the music of her new friend. _

_ _


	22. Chapter 22

**Scene Twenty-Two, a small courtyard**

_ A week has passed and THE MARAUDERS sit on a bench and in the surrounding grass, allowing a variety of books to uncharacteristically hold their attention.  LILY is walking towards the courtyard and has the boys within sight when a hand closes around her arm, pulling her back suddenly behind a pillar.  _

 

_ LILY’s eyes are wide with shock as SEVERUS holds a hand over her mouth, but his grip on her is more protective than threatening, and LILY lets herself let down her defenses a little despite being pinned up against stone. _

 

**SEVERUS:**  I’m not going to hurt you, I just need you to listen.

 

_ He pulls his hand off her face and she jerks back quickly, hitting her head on the pillar and swearing under her breath. _

 

Do try not to kill yourself before you hear what I have to say.

 

_ LILY glares at him with something more than contempt in her eyes. _

 

**LILY:** Well?  Get on with it then.

 

_ SEVERUS sighs in frustration and leans in closer, and LILY visibly recoils. He narrows his eyes but makes no move to give her more space. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (nearly spitting with hate) _ **:** I just thought you ought to know that your little pet is in danger.  

 

**LILY:** What? Who?

 

**SEVERUS:** Remus.  I’ve heard that some crazy mate of mine saw something inspired in that scrawny body of his and made him a proposition. My friends don’t take kindly to being rejected.

 

**LILY:** I’ve noticed.

 

_ SEVERUS opens his eyes in disbelief and embarrassment but he speaks quickly, as though he is trying to deliver his message before she can speak again. _

 

**SEVERUS:** Do you want your friend to get better or not? ( _ She clenches her teeth and nods.) _  Change his quills. ( _ She stares at him for a moment as she reads his expression.  She nods again and SEVERUS takes a step back.) _ I wasn’t here.

 

_ With a flourish of his robes, SEVERUS walks down the corridor and back into the castle.  LILY stands still for a moment as she composes herself and sets back onto her original course.   _

 

_ She walks up to the group, her walk turning to a run when she sees REMUS writing with a quill and bringing the end to his mouth absentmindedly. _

 

_ LILY rips out her wand and casts an Expelliarmus so large that she not only knocks the quill out of his hand but also causes all the boys to drop their books.  _

 

_ REMUS looks up in confusion, his face paler than before and stained with dark circles beneath his eyes. _

 

**REMUS:** Bloody hell, Lily, are you off your rocker?

 

_ LILY wordlessly conjures up a bag and then casts an Accio to retrieve all their quills.  She directs them into her bag, seals it, and puts the smaller bag gently within her larger one. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Excuse me, love, but is there a reason you are suddenly hoarding quills?  Aren’t you the one always nagging us to do our schoolwork?  How do you expect us to do that without our-

 

**LILY:** Can you just bloody well trust me for one moment?  ( _ She looks around and notices that she has attracted a few odd looks.) _  Let’s go to the common room.

 

_ She nudges REMUS, but she gets irritated with their hesitation, resulting in her yanking REMUS and SIRIUS up by their arms and shooting piercing looks at JAMES and PETER.  Without further encouragement, the boys head into the castle, SIRIUS all but carrying REMUS, and LILY follows behind them. _

_ _


	23. Chapter 23

**Scene Twenty-Three, the Gryffindor common room**

_ As it is warm outside and in the middle of the afternoon, the common room is mostly empty apart from the gang and a few first years playing Gobstones in the corner of the room. LILY is sitting on the ground in the center of the group, her wand passing over the bag of quills slowly as she casts silent diagnostic spells. _

 

**PETER:** I’m sorry, but can you just explain it to me one more time?

 

**LILY** _ (in a hush) _ **:** I told you, I can’t tell you how I know, but I have it on good authority that these quills are what is causing Remus’s illness.

 

**JAMES:** I’m not sure, Lil.  I mean, right before you came in casting, I had just found some interesting information on the effects of blue moons and the way they could possibly-

 

**LILY:** I’m telling you, you’re wrong!  It’s the quills! ( _ They look at her with concern and disbelief as she continues to cast spells.)  _ Aha!! See! ( _ The quills glow faintly red before returning to their original state.) _  A delayed curse.  It acts slowly and needs to build in your system over time in order to be harmful.

 

**SIRIUS:** Brilliant, now can you remove this curse and return our writing instruments?

 

_ She gives him a scathing look before turning back to the quills and sighing with defeat. _

 

**LILY:** No, I can’t.  I have no idea what kind of spell they’ve used.  It’s far too advanced- and deadly- to be something I might have read or studied.  I suppose I could ask Flitwick for a slip to visit the restricted section, but even if I can find the right information, there’s no guaranteeing that I can perform the countercurse.  I’m sorry, but a couple of quills are not worth it. ( _ She waves her wand over the quills and vanishes them completely.) _  Hand me that parchment and ( _ she looks around)  _ that stray gobstone, will you?

 

**JAMES:** Why? So you can vanish those too? ( _ Despite his tone, he passes her the paper and the gobstone.)   _ How do you expect us to complete our assignments now?

 

**LILY** _ (without looking up at him) _ **:** We didn’t even have anything new to do this weekend.  It’s not my fault you procrastinated the same week someone tried to KILL you plonkers.

 

 _LILY_ _whispers a spell to transform the gobstone into a quill and she grabs ink from inside her bag._

 

**SIRIUS:** What are you doing?  Suddenly inspired to write because of the tragic demise of our quills?

 

**LILY:** I’m going to send in a rush order for some new quills.  I’m friends with one of the clerks at Amanuensis Quills and she owes me a favor, so hopefully if I send this to her home she can send us some quills by breakfast.

 

_ LILY finishes scribbling and makes to stand, but REMUS grabs shoulder and holds her there for a moment. _

 

**REMUS:** Lily, are you going to talk to us?  I’m sorry but I’m very confused and I would appreciate a little explanation.

 

_ LILY looks at him with sadness and fear in her eyes before she shakes her head and makes to stand again, this time being stopped by SIRIUS. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Lily, love, please.  Talk to us.  You can trust us-

 

**LILY** _ (snappily) _ **:** Don’t you think I know that?  ( _ She sighs and closes her eyes.)  _ Yes - of course - I know. This isn’t about trust.  I just- I can’t tell you how I knew. ( _ She turns to look at REMUS. _ )  But now you’re going to be okay, and that’s all that I care about.

 

_ The boys do not try to stop her from standing on her third attempt, but instead JAMES stands with her.  She looks over at him in confusion. _

 

**JAMES:** At least let me pay for the quills. ( _ She makes to protest but he cuts her off.)  _ Please. You just saved our lives.  I can’t let you be the only helpful one.

 

_ She smiles softly and concedes easily.  They walk together out the portrait and their friends watch them leave.  PETER has a particularly impressed look on his face. _

 

**PETER** ( _ softly and in awe) _ **:** Merlin’s beard, he’s really going to manage it, isn’t he?

 

**REMUS:** What do you mean?

 

**PETER** _ (eyes still glued to the portrait hole) _ **:** He’s gonna make her fall for him.

 

_ SIRIUS chuckles and reclines backwards until he is sprawled out on the floor.  REMUS has a thoughtful look on his face. _

 

**REMUS:** You know, I think he just might.


	24. Chapter 24

**Scene Twenty-Four, a hallway**

_ LILY and JAMES are walking back from the owlery in silence, the neutral look playing across LILY’s face harshly contrasting with the distress JAMES is exhibiting.  He makes a few failed attempts to say something, inhaling and then going abruptly silent. _

 

**LILY:** You’re doing that thing again, James.

 

_ JAMES starts. _

 

**JAMES:** What thing?

 

**LILY:** You know, that weird gaspy thing you do when you’re struggling to ask me something.  Just spit it out.

 

_ JAMES looks even more stressed than before, but he inhales one more time before speaking. _

 

**JAMES:** Did Severus tip you off about the quills?

 

**LILY:**  I don’t talk to Severus anymore.

 

_ He is thrown off by her quick response but seems satisfied with the unspoken information. _

 

**JAMES** ( _ under his breath) _ **:** Maybe he’s not as much of a tosser as I thought.

 

_ LILY cannot help but let a brief smirk grace her face before she remembers she’s trying to look neutral about the interaction. She struggles internally for a moment before she allows the smirk to creep back and she looks up at JAMES. _

 

**LILY:**  Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about someone else.

 

_ A blush creeps up JAMES’s neck and he looks away from her, clearing his throat. _

 

 **JAMES:** You really did save our arses today, you know.  We would literally be dead without you.

 

_ Now LILY blushes and JAMES gives her a cocky grin that makes her roll her eyes. _

 

**LILY:** So I never asked you how your date with Valerie went.  She seems like a lovely girl. Did you two have fun?

 

**JAMES:** Oh, yes, that.  She’s quite nice, yes.  That teashop is actually hell so we ended up bailing and going for a walk along some quiet paths just outside of town…  She’s very sweet. Funny, too. We’ve made plans to meet up after classes tomorrow to work on that minging charms assignment before she has quidditch practice.

 

**LILY** _ (groaning) _ **:** Oh no, I forgot about that assignment.  I’m going to have to completely rearrange my schedule, and I’m already so behind…

 

**JAMES:** Well, um, you can join us tomorrow if you’d like?

 

**LILY:** Oh, my, no I- I think that would be a bit inappropriate.

 

_ JAMES stops to look at her, tilting her head and scrunching his eyebrows. _

 

**JAMES:** How do you figure?

 

_ LILY looks confused, as though she’s not quite sure what she meant by it either, and she scrambles to come up with a response. _

 

**LILY:** Well - you know - you and I are - and well, you’ve just started seeing her and you - well I - ( _ she stops and shakes her head, trying to get a grip on herself.  Finally she is able to smile up at him and roll her eyes. She nudges him and they return to walking.) _ I don’t want to third wheel on your second date with a perfectly lovely girl.  Bringing another girl on a date is a very effective way to sabotage your chances.

 

**JAMES:** Well I mean, we’re just studying.  And I mean I wouldn’t even be going out with her if yo-

( _ He pretends to have a coughing fit to stop the rest of his sentence.) _ Sorry, something in my throat.  But we’re just doing an assignment.

 

**LILY:** It’s alright, I’ll figure it out.  I’m probably going to hide myself in some quiet corner of the library, anyway. Maybe I’ll enlist Remus. 

 

**JAMES:** Alright, yeah, seems sensible enough.  You’re always quite sensible. 

 

**LILY:** I try.

 

_ JAMES stares at her as they finish their walk and arrive at the portrait hole. When they reach the door, she grabs JAMES’s arm to stop him from walking up to the entrance. _

 

_ She looks up at him with scared, shiny eyes, and her breathing is suddenly faster. She begins to tremble a little and looks down, and JAMES closes the space between them and grabs her upper arms, holding her still and helping her remain standing. _

 

**JAMES** _ (urgently) _ **:** Hey- hey! What’s happening? What’s going on?

 

_ She closes her eyes and breathes in shakily before she meets his gaze. _

 

**LILY** ( _ nearly whispering) _ **:** Is this our lives now?  

 

**JAMES:** What do you mean?

 

**LILY:** You all could’ve died.  Remus has been ill for a week and we had no idea how to help him until it was almost too late. Is this what it’s going to be like from now on?  The war… we’re not even safe in our own dorms! Are we going to have to spend the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders and around every corner in order to do things as simple as our homework?  I don’t - I can’t -

 

_ Her words are cut off by her sobs, and JAMES pulls her to his chest, stroking her hair as she whimpers into his robes. _ _ JAMES is visibly shaken by her words, but he attempts to say some quiet comforting words to her until her breathing slows a bit and her tears start to subside. _

 

_ She pulls away from him enough to look up at him, and he moves the hand on her head to cup the side of her face.  Suddenly, the peace is broken and the portrait swings open, and LILY and JAMES fly apart. _

 

**REMUS:** You’re being unreasonable, Sirius.  I will be fine.

 

_ REMUS is being carried by SIRIUS and PETER is scurrying behind them. _

 

And I am perfectly capable of walking!

 

**SIRIUS:** Will you shut your pretty mouth and let me help you!

 

**REMUS:** Can you stop hitting on me!  You know I don’t rate blokes and flattery won’t make me agree with you!

 

**JAMES:** What the bloody hell is going on here?

 

_ The three boys stop and turn to see JAMES. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Moony is dying.

 

**REMUS:** Padfoot is off his rocker.

 

**PETER:** Moony got a nosebleed and Padfoot is forcing him to go to the hospital wing.

 

**REMUS:** I’m fine.

 

**LILY:** Well maybe you should go, just in case.  I’ve been saying you should this entire time but now-

 

**REMUS:** \- but now we know why I was ill and my health will undoubtedly improve on its own accord.  And it’s not like we can tell Pomfrey why I’m ill in the first place.

 

**LILY:** Well I mean maybe we - 

 

**THE BOYS:** No.

 

**LILY** ( _ nodding in resignation) _ **:** Yes, alright, but we should still take you to get checked out, just in case.

 

**REMUS:** I think Sirius has checked me out enough for a lifetime.

 

**SIRIUS:** Ha, ha, ha, you’re still going.

 

**JAMES:** You can probably let him at least walk on his own.  It’s not as though he’s going to run off in his state.

 

_ SIRIUS sighs and lets REMUS down, and he stands unsteadily but proudly.  LILY pushes past the boys and wraps an arm around his waist to support him, and he smiles with appreciation as they walk ahead of the others. _

_ _


	25. Chapter 25

**Scene Twenty-Five, Slytherin dorms**

_ SEVERUS is laying on his bed with the curtains open.  He is reading and writing in his potions book with a serious look on his face; his rumpled hair and sweaty face suggest he is in the same state of focus as he was in the astronomy tower. _

 

_ There is an insistent tapping on his window, to which he spares a side glance but attempts to ignore. After about 30 seconds, the tapping becomes a thudding.  SEVERUS sighs with exasperation and throws down his book as he goes over to the window to let in BERTRAND. _

 

**SEVERUS:** You’ve got to be kidding me.

 

_ The owl flies in and gracefully lands on his bed, patiently waiting for SEVERUS to take the letter. SEVERUS takes the letter and opens his eyes with an eye-roll. _

 

**LUCIUS** _ (voice over) _ **:** Hello, dear friend. I must say that I am quite disappointed to have not received a letter from you in the last week.  I really could have used the distraction from my affairs here at home.  

 

My parents have been dragging me to social events to help me become acquainted with a Miss Narcissa Black.  She’s a handsome enough woman, with enough ferocity and grace to run a kingdom, and if I’m going to be forced to spend my life with someone, I could certainly do worse.

 

_ LUCIUS is in a ballroom full of extravagant looking people, talking politely with a beautiful young blonde woman with warm eyes and an enchanting smile.  His smile is easy but he does not seem invested in the conversation. _

 

But I don’t want to spend my life with some stranger, especially not after discovering what it feels like to be with someone for whom I care dearly.  I fear what my life will look like if I do not resist my parents’ persistent plans, but I continue to dodge and hide and avoid every unwanted encounter that I possibly can.  

 

Write to me soon, will you, at the very least to tell me when we can meet again. Every second I spend away from you I find myself losing my conviction and my certainty, and I could use any reassurance you’re willing to give.

 

I do hope that stuffy castle isn’t stifling your greatness.

 

With love,

 

Lu

_ SEVERUS reads the letter, running a hand through his hair, and sinking into his bed. He closes his eyes and a pained expression crosses his face. He sits there, reflective, for a few moments, before he stands up and crosses to his trunk.  He kneels down, pulls out parchment, and sets it aside, and as he is about to close the lid he notices a photo of LILY and him, sitting on the Hogwarts Express and eating sweets.  He picks up the picture with shaking hands, and then he lets out a sob and begins to cry, sitting down on his heels and letting the picture fall back into the trunk as he brings his hands to cover his face. _

 

_ BERTRAND flies over and sits on the lid of the trunk, hooting quietly.  SEVERUS looks up at the bird and then holds out his arm.  The bird climbs on and he draws it back in towards his body.  He closes his trunk with his other hand and then goes back to his bed with the bird and parchment.  He pets the bird’s head as his tears slow to a stop. _

 

_ BERTRAND flies onto his shoulder as he begins to write a letter, his hand steadier than before, but he has a look of forced determination on his face. _

_ _


	26. Chapter 26

**Scene Twenty-Six, The Hospital Wing**

_ LILY, SIRIUS, JAMES, and PETER are gathered around a bed containing a cheerful REMUS. REMUS is chomping into a chocolate bar and looking smug. _

 

**REMUS:** I told you I was fine.

 

**LILY:** Oh indeed, so fine that you’re being held for observation.

 

_ LILY scoffs and REMUS shakes his head and waves his hand. _

 

**REMUS:**  Only because she’s not sure what to do with me now that my health is improving so rapidly.  I reckon she just wants the company.

 

**SIRIUS:** Oh just shut up and eat your damned chocolate.

 

_ REMUS chuckles and continues to eat his candy merrily while the rest of the group settles into their places beside his bed.  LILY looks frustrated for a moment before she stands up and crawls into bed next to REMUS, who chuckles again and wraps an arm around her shoulders as she rests her head on his shoulder.   _

 

Hey, no fair!

 

_ SIRIUS climbs in and nestles in the bed on REMUS’s other side, placing a hand on REMUS’s back and rubbing it comfortingly up to his shoulder and back down.  REMUS looks at him, gives him a soft smile, and rests his hand with the chocolate bar on SIRIUS’s knee, and SIRIUS wraps his other hand gently around REMUS’s wrist.  JAMES and PETER place themselves on the foot of the bed.   _

 

**LILY:** Never get sick again, okay? I don’t think my tortured heart can handle seeing you in pain anymore.

 

**REMUS:** I’m sorry, Lilybean, but you know I can’t make that promise.

 

_ A sad silence settles over the group as they all breath softly. _

 

**LILY** _ (with a lot of hesitation) _ **:** Um, Remus?  Can - can I ask you something? ( _ REMUS responds with a soft “huh” and LILY takes a deep breath.)   _ I know someone propositioned you about…something… and I was just wondering what…

 

_ She loses her nerve as REMUS lifts his head off of hers to look at her. He stiffens and sits upright, the scars on his face stretching as his muscles tighten. _

 

**REMUS:** I don’t know how you know about that, but I assure you you have nothing to worry about.  I’m not going to participate in - 

 

**LILY:** \- NO NO NO! I didn’t mean- I didn’t think- I just wanted to know what they wanted from you.  I know you would never… I just…

 

_ REMUS sighs and relaxes. _

 

**REMUS:** Oh, alright, sorry.  They just wanted to utilize my “skills” in battle, but the idea is just… repulsive.  I’ve heard that You-Know-Who is collecting people like me… It mustn’t be too difficult in most cases, I suspect, since there is a certain level of… desperation, perhaps, to fit into some kind of group and be accepted.  ( _ He looks around at his friends lovingly.)   _ But that’s hardly an issue for me.  I suspect that that crowd isn’t well acquainted with rejection, so I suppose it’s my own fault for not expecting them to lash out…

 

**SIRIUS:** Absolutely none of this is your fault.

 

**JAMES:** They’re a bunch of tossers, that lot.  And they’re not going to win.

 

_ PETER nods along with the rest and REMUS sighs. _

 

**REMUS:**  I suppose it’s not really fair.

 

**PETER:** What’s not fair?

 

**REMUS:** Well I just mean, their side hasn’t got Lily Evans, so they don’t stand a bleeding chance.

 

_ LILY blushes and the boys all grin at her.  SIRIUS reaches over and ruffles her hair and then REMUS pulls her into his lap as he and JAMES begin to tickle her.  Their laughter fills the room and MADAME POMFREY steps out of her office. _

 

**POMFREY:** What is the meaning of this?  You’re meant to be resting, not attacking your classmates.

 

_ The gang tries to look ashamed by the reprimand, but they can’t keep the smirks off their faces. _

_ _


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING on this scene - depictions of an abusive relationship and implied rape

**Scene Twenty-Seven, Hogsmead**

_ It is now winter and snow covers the ground. Students and adults bustle down the street, all but running to get inside and to their destinations. _

 

_ In a room at the Hog’s Head, SEVERUS and LUCIUS are in bed, twisted up in a sheet.  The boys are sweaty and panting, and their long hair is plastered to their foreheads.  SEVERUS’s arm is lazily resting around LUCIUS’s shoulders, and LUCIUS is hugging SEVERUS around his stomach, resting his head on SEVERUS’s chest. _

 

_ LUCIUS sighs deeply and sinks into his bliss, smiling softly. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Why can’t every weekend be a Hogsmead weekend.

 

_ SEVERUS closes his eyes and runs his free hand through his own sweaty hair.  _

 

I’ve missed you so much, Prince. I miss you so much when we’re apart.  And I know you are so engulfed in your studies and I know that school is important but I struggle every second I spend waiting for your letters.  I can’t wait for the holidays so you can come home.

 

**SEVERUS** ( _ eyes still closed _ ) **:** How do you suppose your parents will feel about me spending the holidays with you?

 

**LUCIUS:** Oh, my parents love you.  And anyway, they’re painfully oblivious, so they won’t be an issue.

 

**SEVERUS:** Lovely.

 

**LUCIUS** _ (with hesitation) _ **:** Listen, so I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I think we really ought to talk…

 

**SEVERUS:** Why must you do this?  Why can’t we just enjoy ourselves and leave it there? 

 

**LUCIUS:** You mean so much to me, love, and I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.

 

_ SEVERUS reaches his free arm over and grabs LUCIUS’s hand. He pulls it up to his mouth and moves LUCIUS up his body in the process.  _

**SEVERUS** _ (silkily) _ **:** You’re right, of course. ( _ He begins to kiss slowly up LUCIUS’s arm between thoughts, his words melting into a whisper)  _ I just can’t stop thinking about the other things I want to happen with our mouths.  Talking just seems to be a waste.

 

_ He reaches LUCIUS’s shoulder and moves on to LUCIUS’s neck as his eyes flutter shut. _

 

**LUCIUS:** I just care so deeply for you. ( _ He sighs and pauses.)  _ And I know you feel the same way, but I would just really like to hear some kind of confirmation…  I have a lot hinging on this.

 

_ SEVERUS stops and rolls his eyes, shifting his tone from soft to hard in a few breaths. _

 

**SEVERUS:** You’ve always been so insecure.  It’s not a great color on you.

 

_ SEVERUS rolls them so that he is propped up on his arms over LUCIUS. LUCIUS looks up at him with wide eyes. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Well I’m sorry, but it’s not exactly like you ever really talk about your feelings with me and I just need to be sure if I’m going to fight my parents about the engagement-

 

**SEVERUS:** What?  Why the hell would you do that? 

 

_ SEVERUS sits back on his legs, still straddling and pinning LUCIUS down with his body and his hands on LUCIUS’s chest. _

 

 _LUCIUS_ _props himself up on his elbows and looks at SEVERUS with confusion._

 

**LUCIUS:** Well how do you expect me to marry Narcissa when I know that there is someone who actually loves me?  Someone that I actually love?

 

**SEVERUS** ( _ his voice increasing in venom and volume) _ **:** Love?  Oh do not start with that rubbish.  We’re not in love.  We’ve only been shagging a few months, anyway.  You’re my mate and all but don’t make this into something it isn’t.

 

_ LUCIUS _ ’ _ s face flashes signs of pain and confusion and uncertainty, but he quickly composes himself and looks up at SEVERUS with a look of determined neutrality. _

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ cooly) _ **:** Then pray tell, what is this?

 

_ SEVERUS’s face is a mess of anger, lust, and fear, and then he suddenly pushes LUCIUS back on the bed and kisses him forcefully, muffling LUCIUS’s protests.  LUCIUS brings his hands up to push SEVERUS off, but he doesn’t budge. SEVERUS’s focus moves from LUCIUS’s mouth to his neck and jaw. _

 

**LUCIUS:**  Stop!  We can’t just shag and then not resolve any of our issues. Stop, I don’t want this, stop!

 

 _SEVERUS_ _pulls back and looks at LUCIUS with a vicious gaze that causes LUCIUS’s protests to subside._

 

**SEVERUS:** You don’t call the shots. What even are you?  A spoiled brat who barely knows how to hold a wand, whinging about needing my love when he’s got parents and a fiance and everything he needs? No. I’m not here for love. Not tonight. Now shut your pretty mouth and stay still.

 

_ LUCIUS falls completely silent and closes his eyes while SEVERUS goes back to attacking his neck and body.  LUCIUS clenches the sheets and breathes slowly, a few tears slipping from his eyes. _

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Scene Twenty-Eight, The Three Broomsticks**

_ THE MARAUDERS, LILY, and VALERIE are sitting at the same window seat as before.  JAMES’s arm is carelessly draped on the back of VALERIE’s chair, PETER is sketching and looking out the window, SIRIUS and REMUS are laughing loudly while they drink and spill their butterbeer (making them laugh more), and LILY is lost in a book. VALERIE is animatedly telling a story to JAMES and PETER, and both boys are looking elsewhere and only occasionally acknowledging VALERIE. _

 

**VALERIE:** And so I said to him, if you cut me off one more time I am going to take that broom and shove it up your-

 

**PANDORA:** Lily!

 

_ LILY’s head pops up and she smiles an enormous smile as she sets down her book and PANDORA walks over to the table. _

 

**LILY:** You were so right, Dora!  This book is amazing!  I cannot put it down.

 

**PANDORA:** Did you get to the part where Fiona’s thestral bites Philip’s-

 

**LILY:** No no no!  Don’t spoil it! I’m not there yet!

 

_ PANDORA chuckles and pulls up a chair to sit beside LILY. The boys look over at their new companion.  PETER blushes, REMUS and SIRIUS nod politely and then return to their jokes, and JAMES sits up a bit straighter.  VALERIE is still telling her story and hasn’t noticed the change in her surroundings. _

 

**PANDORA:** Hello everyone.  Would you mind if I borrowed Lily for a moment?

 

_ VALERIE looks over and jumps slightly. _

 

 **VALERIE:** Oh, hello Pandora.  Is your hair different?

 

_ PANDORA absentmindedly strokes the ends of her hair, which is slightly flattened from its usual wavy state, is several inches shorter, and now includes bangs. _

 

**PANDORA:** Oh yes. I was attempting to modify a sleeping draught and apparently flobberworms were not the right choice.  But that’s alright.  I needed a trim anyway.  __

 

_ LILY and VALERIE laugh lightly.  PETER turns his focus from the window to PANDORA and he flips to a new page in his book. _

 

Anyway, Lil, I have someone I would really like you to meet. His name is Emerson Clearwater and he’s in your year.  I think you two could really get on.  

 

**LILY:** Dora! Stop! I don’t know him! What did you say about me? Tell me you didn’t do anything embarrassing!

 

_ PANDORA holds up her hands in a playful protest but her eyes gleam something more mischievous. _

 

**PANDORA:** Me? Embarrass you? I would never!  I simply mentioned your name in conversation and he told me he had been very impressed with your transfiguration work this week and I thought you could use a few more...friends, or whatever.  And of course you don’t know him, silly, that’s the point of me introducing you.  

 

_ LILY holds her face in her hands and groans. _

 

Just come meet him!  He’s sitting right over there and he really is quite sweet.

 

_ LILY sighs and rolls her eyes.  SIRIUS and REMUS look over and smirk at her. _

 

**REMUS:** I think that is a brilliant idea, Pandora.  I hear Emerson is a very nice bloke and it’s… It’s very sweet of you to think of our dear Lily.

 

**SIRIUS** _ (patting LILY’s arm across the table) _ **:** At the very least, love, he’s got a nice arse. What have you got to lose.

 

_ JAMES looks between his friends with a clenched jaw and a look of slight panic. _

 

**JAMES** _ (with a tone of forced lightness) _ **:** But do you really need to meet him?  I mean, you’ve got enough friends, already. 

 

_ LILY considers all of their input and then glances over to EMERSON, sitting alone at a table, reading a book and sipping a butterbeer. _

 

**LILY:** I guess… it couldn’t hurt to say hello, right?

 

_ REMUS, SIRIUS, and PANDORA smile broadly as JAMES slowly sinks back into his chair and looks out the window. _

 

_ PANDORA and LILY get up to walk over to EMERSON and he looks up as PANDORA makes the introductions. JAMES looks over to them with a hazy focus and all is silent until VALERIE nudges his arm gently. _

 

**VALERIE:** Are you alright, dear?  You look a bit sick.

 

_ JAMES shakes his head and forces a smile. _

 

**JAMES:** Oh, yes, of course.  I’m- I’m great.   _ (He plants a soft kiss on her forehead and tucks a curly black strand of hair behind her ear.) _ Where were you in your story?  He’d intentionally thrown the quaffle too far to your right?

 

_ VALERIE beams at him and nods. _

 

**VALERIE:** Yes! Exactly! And so I told him-

 

_ LILY is looking over at JAMES and VALERIE, holding hands and smiling, before she shakes her head and smiles over at EMERSON. _

 

**LILY:**  Is that book any good?  I was debating about whether or not to read it and then Pandora threw this silly old thing at me and I can’t seem to put it down.

 

**EMERSON:** Oh, is that a Peterson novel?  Don’t tell anyone, because I wouldn’t want to damage my reputation, but I love those books as well.

 

**LILY:** Why would that damage your reputation?

 

_ EMERSON shrugs and smiles awkwardly. _

 

**EMERSON:** Well, you know, they’re a touch girly, don’t you think?

 

**LILY:** I’m pretty sure everyone enjoys love and adventure.  And if not, those people must be quite dull and sad, don’t you think?

 

_ EMERSON sits back and smiles softly. He looks at LILY for a moment before answering. _

 

**EMERSON:** I can’t think of any way to disagree with you, so I suppose you’re right. 

 

**LILY:** You say that like it’s a bad thing.  ( _ She smirks and raises a challenging eyebrow.) _

 

_ EMERSON smiles broadly and laughs. _

 

**EMERSON:** On the contrary, I think I would really enjoy it if you continued to challenge my opinions. 

 

_ LILY smiles and blushes, twisting the tip of her hair as she looks down. _

 

**LILY:** I’ll try.

 

**PANDORA:** Oh, I think I left my wand at the other table.

 

_ PANDORA gets up and walks back over to the seat where LILY had been beside PETER. When she sits down, PETER jumps a bit and turns to a different page in his book and goes back to looking out the window, this time with a slight blush and smile. _

 

_ REMUS looks over to LILY who is laughing and then he turns back to PANDORA. _

 

**REMUS:** Nicely done, mate.  She seems pretty happy over there.

 

**SIRIUS:** It’s about damn time she starts looking at other blokes.  I was beginning to think that that slimy git had damaged her into a permanent state of celibacy and I was genuinely considering offering her my body to help her break out of this funk.

 

**PANDORA** _ (looking out the window) _ **:** I think she will be alright. I hardly believe Emerson is her soulmate by any means, but he might be good place to start.  I don’t know him well - I haven’t been observing him for longer than a week - but he seems very nice… and very boring.  But I think boring is good.  The only thing I want for her right now is for her to feel… safe.

 

_ REMUS and SIRIUS nod at her.  _

 

**REMUS:** She deserves that.

 

**VALERIE:** James, are you listening to me?  I just asked you a question.

 

_ JAMES shakes his head and looks at VALERIE. _

 

**JAMES:** Sorry, I must have zoned out for a moment. I didn’t sleep well last night.  What did you ask me?

 

_ PANDORA eyes him with a knowing look and she rolls her eyes. She looks back at LILY and EMERSON who are now sitting a little closer to each other, both with more relaxed body language than what they initially exhibited. _

 

_ PANDORA looks back at JAMES, who is very purposefully looking at VALERIE, and then she turns to PETER. _

 

**PANDORA:** I wish you’d channel some of your talent into speaking, although I suppose your artwork may speak for itself.  Either way, that is a beautiful sketch.

 

_ PETER’s eyes go wide and he pulls his sketchpad to his chest. _

 

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to invade. I just find passion very compelling, and your expression made me quite curious as to what you could be so passionate about.

 

_ PETER relaxes a bit and loosens his protective grip on his pad. _

 

 **PETER** _(choked out barely above a whisper)_ **:** Thank you.

 

_ PANDORA smiles dreamily and leaves the table, walking out of the pub. _

__


	29. Chapter 29

**Scene Twenty-Nine, The Great Hall**

_ The next day, LILY walks in to the Great Hall accompanied by PANDORA and EMERSON.  They are talking animatedly and laughing along with one another.  LILY bids them farewell and separates to go to the Gryffindor table as the other two walk towards the Ravenclaw table.  LILY walks over to the MARAUDERS with a smile on her face and she sits down beside VALERIE, who is seated across from JAMES. _

 

_ SIRIUS takes a large bite of toast and then attempts to smirk at LILY, but LILY is still smiling and completely unaware of his attention towards her. _

 

**SIRIUS** _ (through a full mouth) _ **:** Well you two seem to be getting on quite well.

 

_ LILY jumps and looks up, laughing at her reaction and the expression on his face. _

 

**LILY:** Me and Emerson?  Oh, yes. He seems quite nice.  We’ve read a few of the same books and we have a few common interests.  And Pandora always seems to appear any time I fear the conversation might be fizzling out, so it has been quite… nice. As much as I love you all, I could definitely stand to make a few more friends.

 

**REMUS:** Friends? I was under the impression that there was bit more to it than that.

 

_ LILY smiles and shakes her head. _

 

**LILY:** I’m well aware of Dora’s intentions, but I think I'm satisfied with friendship. At least for the time being. 

 

_ REMUS and SIRIUS smile at her with affection in their eyes as they nod.  JAMES smiles slightly to himself and glances over from his conversation with VALERIE but then returns his focus to her. _

 

_ PETER, who has been looking across the hall the whole time, gasps suddenly and looks over to SIRIUS. _

 

**PETER:** Padfoot.

 

_ PETER points across the room to the Slytherin table where SEVERUS has just stood up.  He begins walking down to the end of the table and towards the Gryffindor table. SIRIUS slams his fork down and makes to stand up as REMUS and JAMES notice what is happening and hold him in place. _

 

**SIRIUS:** What the bloody hell does he want with us now? We haven’t even done anything to him this year.

 

_ LILY looks up from the bowl of oatmeal she had been smiling at when REMUS taps her hand. _

 

**REMUS:** Lilybean, I don’t mean to alarm you, but Severus is walking towards us.

 

_ LILY starts and looks over her shoulder just as an angry-looking SEVERUS makes his way up the aisle towards her. _

 

_ After a moment of indecision, LILY looks back at her oatmeal with a newfound concentration as she steels her face into something fiercer than we’ve seen her manage before. _

 

_ SEVERUS stops and looms behind her, attracting a few stray eyes towards the interaction. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (snarling) _ **:**  Lily.

 

_ LILY sits up straighter but makes no motion to stop eating or turn towards him.  He places a hand on her shoulder but she throws him off and whips around, and SIRIUS, REMUS, and JAMES half stand up, their white knuckles gripping the table for all it’s worth. _

 

 **LILY** _(venomously)_ **:** Do not touch me. Ever. 

 

_ SEVERUS’s eyebrows rush to his hairline in shock, but he steps back nonetheless. _

 

**SEVERUS:** What’s this? Little Lily putting up a fight?  What for?  I haven’t done anything.

 

**LILY** _ (sarcastically) _ **:** Oh no, not you. You’ve never done a thing. You’re practically a saint.

 

**SEVERUS:** Hey, I helped you-

 

**LILY:** If you cause a disaster and then fix it in the last possible moment, are you really the hero? Do you consider yourself brave? Would you like me to bow down at your feet and praise you for your nobility? ( _ She pauses to compose herself.) _ What do you want?

 

_ SEVERUS looks down at her with contempt. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (slowly, savoring each word) _ **:** I just wanted to inquire after your newest… male companion.  It seems like you have been surrounding yourself with a lot of men lately and I just wanted to make sure you were… making good decisions.

 

**LILY:** Well I’ve been trying to avoid you, so I think I’m definitely on the right track.  And as for my “male companions,” I’m entirely certain that they’re none of your damn business.  Now, if you would kindly leave… ( _ She gestures with her arm towards the aisle he came up.) _

 

**SEVERUS:** You must think you’re so bloody clever, don’t you. It’s unfortunate that you hold onto that misconception because from my perspective, and from the objective perspective of basically everyone else, you’re nothing more than a silly little girl who is becoming something of a slag.

 

_ LILY stares at him with an open mouth for a tense moment before she starts laughing. _

 

**LILY** _ (laughing and sarcastically) _ **:** Oh, silly me, you’re so right. I completely forgot that you speak for everyone ever. I’m such a fool. ( _ She stands up in front of him.)  _ I’ll keep your sweet words in my heart forever. Now please leave. 

 

_ SEVERUS scowls at her before turning and storming out of the Great Hall.  LILY smiles as she watches him go and then sits back down at the table. _

 

_ She looks up to see her five table companions staring at her. _

 

What?

 

**VALERIE:** I’m sorry, but that was amazing.

 

_ LILY smiles weakly and sits back down as VALERIE pats her back gently. _

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Scene Thirty, Library**

_LILY and REMUS are sitting at a small, round table in the library with a variety of quills, parchment, ink, and books scattered around them on the table.  The windows and dim lighting show that it is late at night and the library is mostly empty.  Those who remain look disheveled and tired, and the state of their hair grows increasing bad as they sporadically run their hands through it in frustration._

 

_REMUS sits up and closes the book he was staring at._

 

 **REMUS:** Lilybean, it’s late.  We’re not going to make any progress at this hour.

 

 **LILY** ( _without looking up_ ) **:** Just a few more moments. I just have a paragraph left and I already know what it needs to say.

 

 **REMUS:** That seems to be the trend of the day.

 

_LILY stops and looks up._

 

 **LILY:** What do you mean?

 

 **REMUS:** Well today, with Severus… ( _he whistles)_ You were on fire.  You sure knew what to say and you tore him down.

 

_LILY’s eyes widen and she sets her quill down._

 

 **LILY:**  I didn’t intend to be hurtful. ( _She hesitates.)_ Do you think I was too harsh?  Please be honest, was I too cruel?

 

 **REMUS:** No, heavens no, you’re fine. You were right in what you said.

 

 **LILY:**  But was I mean in the way I said it?

 

 **REMUS** _(hesitantly)_ **:** Well, I mean… he doesn’t exactly deserve your niceness… but perhaps…

 

_LILY’s eyes well-up with tears and she puts her head on her crossed arms on the table. She cries for a bit before REMUS can even react._

 

Lily no- what-

 

_LILY looks up at him and holds up a hand as she tries to wipe her tears with the other one._

 

 **LILY:** It’s okay, I don’t know what this is - I don’t know why I care - I just -

 

_She is stopped by a wave of sobs, but this time REMUS is there and he wraps his arms around her as she cries into his shoulder._

 

I’m happy that I could stand up to him… I just hate that I care!  Why do I care!  This isn’t okay.  I deserve to be happy, I don’t understand -

 

_She descends into sobs again and REMUS soothingly rubs her back._

 

 **REMUS** _(softly)_ **:**  He was in your life for a long time, and he has hurt you in many ways.  It’s okay that you care, but just know that you’re entitled to be mad, and to push him away.  He doesn’t deserve a second of your time or a moment in your thoughts, but I understand that he is there, regardless. What you’re feeling is okay. Just know that you did nothing wrong.

 

_She nods but cries harder until she is able to compose herself after a long while.  She pushes away from REMUS, wiping her eyes repeatedly as she turns back to her essay._

 

You’re not going to try to finish that bloody thing, are you?

 

_She scribbles on the paper with a shaky but determined hand as she wipes her nose and her eyes with the other hand.  Though a few tears escape her eyes, she continues until her essay is complete.  She packs up her stuff and REMUS eyes her unsurely._

 

_They stand and she looks over to him, and again she begins to cry. He puts his arm around her and leads her out of the library._

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUEST AUTHOR FOR THIS CHAPTER!! Big thanks to Tasha for getting me over a writing block by throwing in some classic Black/Malfoy magic <3

**Scene Thirty-One, Malfoy/Black Manor**

_ The gently draining bath is on four clawed, silver feet. A soft ripple follows the water as it swirls into oblivion. Lavender-scented steam fills the room. Watered footprints lead a delicate trail from bath to mirror, where LUCIUS stands, wrapped in a plush towel. His translucent hair is dripping onto the tiled floor. He is transfixed by his reflection. _

 

_ His pale eyes, usually sharp, are heavy. His expression is blank; his gaze, empty. With a slim finger, he pushes his hair behind his shoulders to expose the bruises about his neck. No expression. He traces the shape of them with a gentle finger. Longing flashes across his features, quick and quickly stifled. Then, with nothing more than mild curiosity, he presses a finger deeply into one of the bruises. LUCIUS winces, despite the controlled pain. He runs a hand slowly down his neck, drops his towel, and gazes at the body that was once his own. His mouth trembles. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes, the emotion is passed.  _

 

_ The setting changes, and we see LUCIUS dressed in fine black clothing with silver embellishment, walking purposely down the hall of the Manor. The collar on his cloak is high and holds his secrets close. He shows no emotion. _

 

_ The setting changes, and he is in a carriage, gazing out the window. No emotion. _

 

_ He is knocking on a door. The door opens and reveals a butler, who bows low and grimaces as if he thinks it were a smile. LUCIUS’s smile is easy, formal, practiced. _

 

**BUTLER:** Mr. Malfoy, how good to see you.

 

**LUCIUS:** Hello, Mr. Burke. I hope my apologies for my tardiness have made it to this house.

 

**BUTLER:** Don’t spare it a second thought, sir, not at all; your work is of utmost importance and the lady understands, of course.

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ with charm, ease, and no emotion) _ **_:_ ** It is not becoming to leave a lady waiting. If she is as forgiving as you lead me to believe, I do not deserve her.

 

**BUTLER** ( _ happy to be spoken to as a person, which likely does not happen often): _ If I know anything of Narcissa Black, she is sensible enough to not call off an engagement for such a small offense.

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ chuckles effortlessly; his eyes are empty): _ I simply do not deserve her.

 

**BUTLER** ( _ bows low, gestures inside):  _ Sir.

 

_ LUCIUS enters the grand Black Manor, furnished with the unnecessary elegance of a family with more money than they could ever feasibly spend responsibly. Almost immediately a gentle, quick footfall rushes down the stairs to the entry, and with a flurry of fine clothing swishing toward him, NARCISSA BLACK is standing before LUCIUS, expectant and beaming. She is young, with a round face and curved nose. Her posture is carefully practiced and, assumedly, she has also learned to put together the cool, detached expression that LUCIUS has mastered, but she does not express that restraint here.  _

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ with some clear giddiness):  _ Mr. Malfoy.

 

_ LUCIUS takes her extended hand and pushes it gently to his lips. NARCISSA’s gentle features manage to light up further. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Ms. Black, please forgive - 

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ pleasantly, firmly):  _ I have.

 

_ A small smile startles across LUCIUS’s lips, and then becomes its usual shade of unaffectedly charming. _

 

**NARCISSA:** Won’t you please come in? Tea is prepared. 

 

_ She takes his arm and walks him through the extensive, turning hallways. They pass portraits who stare at the couple, either with haughty disdain at NARCISSA’s youthful glow, with self-assured approval of LUCIUS and his bloodline, or with the occasional, true smile. _

 

**NARCISSA:** Merlin’s Beard, Lucius, it’s been so long since you have managed the time to visit. It really is so good to see you. 

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ his eyes are glassed over): _ It is so good to see you too.

 

_ They enter the dining room, where two are already seated at the grand table. One is a man, many years LUCIUS’s senior, with a strong jaw, wide features, and heavy facial hair that is more than stubble but clipped too carefully to be a full beard. His large, scarred hands overwhelm a tea cup. The second person is a woman, with long, sleek black hair, cunning eyes, and violet lips. She is as slight as her conversational partner is massive, but somehow manages to take up more space in the room than he. While he sits rigidly and slightly hunched, she is stretched out across a chair with one foot on the table, offering a quite indelicate view that the wand twirling readily through her fingers dares anyone to take. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Ah, Mr. Lestrange. Mrs. Lestrange. I hadn’t known I’d have the pleas -

 

 **BELLATRIX** ( _twirling her wand more violently, her words cutting)_ ** _:_** You kept my Cissy waiting.

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ not unkindly):  _ Bella, please. Play nice.

 

_ BELLATRIX groans audibly and rolls her eyes, but ultimately kisses the air in her younger sister’s direction. Her tone is a stark juxtaposition to everyone else’s restraint. _

 

**BELLATRIX** ( _ chiding):  _ You would do well to remember to respect my sister, Mr. Malfoy. 

 

**LUCIUS:** Of course. I am not capable of apologizing as fully as I must, but work, as you know - 

 

**BELLATRIX** ( _ theatrically):  _ Oh, work. Yes of course _. I  _ certainly understand the importance. But forgive me, I’m sure this is a lapse of my own memory - remind me, which excursions have kept you away from my sister? It couldn’t have been the trip to the giants in the mountains - it was of utmost importance, and I, having been there, have only just gotten back as well. But you weren’t there with us, were you?

 

**NARCISSA:** Bella - 

 

**BELLATRIX:** I love you, Cissy, but I must admit that securing an alliance with the werewolves also would take precedence over regularly visiting your betrothed - but ah! How strange, I don’t recall you being present during those negotiations either! Perhaps that’s  _ my  _ memory - Rudolphus, please remind me, was Mr. Malfoy in any way necessary to either of those missions? 

 

_ RUDOLPHUS takes a long, loud sip of tea. He places his cup on the table. He makes eye contact only with his wife. His words are calm and long.  _

 

**RUDOLPHUS:** __ No, my darling, I’m afraid your memory is perfect.

 

**BELLATRIX:** Well what must that say about Mr. Malfoy? How is it, Lucius, that you manage to lack such importance  _ and  _ presence within our missions, but also fail to find the time to accompany my baby sister to social gatherings? 

 

**NARCISSA:** Really, that’s enough, Bella. Lucius is gaining favor in the Ministry, and though his work may not quite be as daring -

 

_ BELLATRIX laughs, loud and short. _

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ growing flustered):  _ Though he may not be risking his life every day for the cause, his work is still of great importance, and growing influence in such a large institution is not for the impatient -!

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ cooly):  _ Your sister is quite right. My transgression is unforgivable - it is only by your grace, Narcissa, that I am redeemed. 

 

_ BELLATRIX snorts.  _

 

**BELLATRIX:** If you’ll excuse us, Cissy dear, I can’t stand to sit idly by and watch as you send your future down the drain. Come, Rudolphus.

 

_ The pair stand. BELLATRIX places a gentle kiss on NARCISSA’s  forehead, and stares up fiercely at LUCIUS. NARCISSA, not seeing this, smiles peacefully. BELLATRIX and RUDOLPHUS exit to the gardens. _

 

_ NARCISSA puts away their half-finished tea cups and pours for LUCIUS and then herself. When she is done LUCIUS pulls out a chair for her, and she delicately seats herself. They sit across from each other, a stillness now between the two.  _

 

**NARCISSA:** So…  _ (picking her energy back up).  _ Please, do, tell me about your work! I imagine it must be exciting working so intimately within the Ministry. 

 

**LUCIUS:** Nothing quite as daring as your sister, of course.

 

_ NARCISSA turns a light shade of pink. _

 

**NARCISSA:** I didn’t mean -

 

**LUCIUS:** You were absolutely correct. The work is rather dull compared to what those within his inner circle are trusted to do. It is not always clear that what I do has a purpose.

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ indignantly):  _ Don’t say that! You know you were allowed to join his ranks for a reason. You are executing your work wonderfully and that is simply a fact. To expect anything more from you when you are doing  _ everything  _ right...

 

_ Her words trail away as she notices LUCIUS’s expression. She looks at him with some confusion as his charm falters, and the hollowness behind his eyes becomes more evident. _

 

**NARCISSA:** Do you… do you enjoy what you’re doing, Lucius?

 

_ LUCIUS fiddles with his tea cup before gently raising it to his lips. His mind is not on his work. He cannot muster the will to answer her, nor the will to determine what his answer would be.  _

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ with the urgency of someone who does not understand the concept of being ignored):  _ Lucius?

 

_ He averts her gaze and tries to put his smile back on. It doesn’t entirely work. His fingers itch to peel back his collar. _

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ gently but firmly, as a person who is accustomed to getting what they want):  _ Tell me what’s wrong. 

 

_ For just a moment, LUCIUS breaks. His eyebrows turn upward, helplessly. His thin lips purse tightly shut, hiding their quiver. A short, violent sob crashes out of him, just through his nose, surprising him back into his cool facade. He laces his fingers together and pushes his folded hands together tightly, as if trying to physically keep himself together and stop the rush of jumbled emotions from exploding onto the clean white carpet. He wants to press hard into his bruises and pretend he is in love.  _

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ almost a whisper):  _ Has he hurt you?

 

_ Though he cannot chance opening his mouth to laugh at the perfect accidental irony of her question, a short, dull laugh forms and dies in his throat.  _

 

_ NARCISSA puts a slender hand on top of LUCIUS’s tightly clenched ball of fingers. She tries to meet his gaze to support him, but he is looking fixedly at a clock on the wall. The last time he had been there, there had been a clock at the Hog’s Head that LUCIUS had stared at the entire time. _

 

**NARCISSA** ( _ murmuring):  _ You are not alone. I’m here. He can’t hurt you here. You know you are worth more than the anger he expresses. You are not alone. I love you.

 

_ LUCIUS laughs another short, dead laugh. A tear rolls down his face. _

 

_ _


	32. Chapter 32

**Scene Thirty-Two, Astronomy Tower**

_ JAMES and VALERIE are laying on a blanket on the roof of the astronomy tower.  The night sky is twinkling and optimistic, bright enough to light up the look of bliss on VALERIE’s face.  JAMES’s arm is draped around her shoulders as she rests her head on his chest and her arm around his stomach.  _

 

_ She sighs deeply and closes her eyes.   _

 

**VALERIE** _ (softly, into his chest) _ **:** I could stay like this all night.

 

_ JAMES begins to card his fingers through her curly, black hair and he closes his eyes, his expression strained. _

 

James?  Are you alright, love?  You’re very quiet right now. 

 

_ JAMES breaks out of his thoughts with a start and looks down at VALERIE. _

 

**JAMES:** Oh- yes- I’m- I’m sorry.  It’s been a very long week.

 

 **VALERIE** _(twisting her neck to try to see him, voice full of concern)_ **:** Oh no, I’ve been talking about me all night! I’m so sorry.  Please, tell me what’s wrong?

 

**JAMES** ( _ shaking his head) _ **:** Oh no, it’s fine.  I love listening to you talk. I don’t want to bore you with my nonsense anyway.

 

**VALERIE:** Please bore me with your nonsense.  Please.

 

_ JAMES smiles down at her with affection in his eyes as he strokes her curls before hugging her closer. _

 

**JAMES:**  I’m just tired, that’s all.

 

**VALERIE:** And are you going to tell me why you’re tired?

 

_ JAMES laughs and then sighs in submission. _

 

**JAMES:**  I haven’t been sleeping much this week.

 

**VALERIE** _ (bubbling with anticipation from his continual baiting) _ **:** Spit it out already!

 

**JAMES** _ (beaming) _ **:**  Well… ( _ his face falls as he remembers the seriousness of his story)  _ I fell a bit behind on my work because I’ve been spending all my time on the pitch trying to work out the kinks in our coordination before our match with Slytherin next week, and just as I was about to sit down and get working the other night, Remus walks in through the portrait hauling a hysterical Lily in his arms. Sirius and I tried to carry her to her dorm but then the bloody stairs vanished and we fell on our arses and Lily was still crying only now she was laughing too, so then Peter decided to try to transfigure the armchair into a chaise lounge, only he sneezed halfway through his spell ( _ VALERIE chuckles and JAMES smiles at the recollection)  _ so then Remus set to work trying to fix that.  Sirius started tickling Lily and I just watched as my friends all descended into chaos…  _ (he laughs softly and begins playing with VALERIE’s hair again) _ .  Needless to say, I didn’t get my work done that night, and I’ve been playing catch-up all week. 

 

**VALERIE** _ (her smile sinking into a look of concern) _ **:** Is Lily alright?  What had happened? 

 

_ JAMES looks up at the stars with a thoughtful look full of hope and heartbreak. _

 

**JAMES:** Honestly, with that mess of events, I never got the chance to ask.  And since that night, she has avoided me like the plague. I haven’t seen Pandora or Emerson leave her side all week, and she returns to the common room so late at night and then goes immediately to bed.

 

_ He sighs deeply and runs his free hand through his messy, black hair. _

 

I don’t know what’s wrong and I don’t know how to help her.

 

**VALERIE:** I’m sure she’ll come to you if she needs you.

 

**JAMES:** Honestly, I’m not too sure.  In all the years I’ve known Lily I have never seen her so… fragile.  But then again, I suppose I didn’t really know her until this year. Maybe I still don’t.

 

**VALERIE:** Lily Evans?  Fragile?  I don’t buy it.  The girl is pure steel.  Sure, she cries every now and again, but … Merlin! Have you seen her!  The way she shut down Severus last week?  Or the way she holds her chin up when those Death Eaters and purists are hissing slurs in her direction?  And just two weeks ago I saw her intervene when a fourth year boy was poking fun at one of his classmates after he stole and read her diary! Lily stepped in without a second of hesitation and threw one of the best Bat-Bogey Hexes I’ve ever seen in my life!  And when everyone was distracted, she took back the diary and hurried the girl away from the crowd.  

 

_ She reflects a moment. _

 

Lily is so brave.  I’m constantly in awe of her strength.  

 

_ She pauses for another moment of reflection. _

 

In a twisted way, it’s actually quite nice to hear that she sometimes has a breakdown or two.

 

**JAMES:** How do you mean?

 

**VALERIE:** It makes her seem more like a regular person... instead of the academic monster with a heart of gold and the nerve of steel that everyone pictures her to be, myself included.

 

_ JAMES sits silently for a moment as he takes in her words. When he finally speaks, his voice is void of emotions and his words are very calculated.  _

 

**JAMES:** I suppose you’re right. She is quite awe-inspiring

 

_ The two young people sit in silence for a while, both staring at the stars above them. _

 

_ VALERIE shatters the peace suddenly by sitting up and looking at JAMES. _

 

**VALERIE** ( _ without accusation, as though merely stating the weather) _ **:** You’re in love with her, aren’t you. 

 

_ JAMES, who had been in the process of sitting up, freezes halfway and stares at VALERIE blankly. _

 

Yeah, I figured.  You always talk about her… and the way your face lights up when you hear her name or see her face…

 

_ JAMES regains his composure and sits up.  He takes VALERIE’s hands in his and she lets him, smiling softly down at their clasped hands. He scoots in closer and then brushes a strand of hair off her face. He looks at her deeply for several seconds, considering his options. _

 

_ He sighs in resignation. _

 

**JAMES:** Why do you have to be so bloody smart?

 

_ VALERIE laughs softly as she wipes a tear from her cheek. _

 

Do you realize how truly wonderful you are?  You are magnificent in every way, and you deserve someone who can love you as fully as you deserve.  I really wanted to be able to do that. I’m so sorry, Val.

 

_ She sniffles and shakes her head. She sits up straighter and grabs his upper arms firmly. _

 

**VALERIE:** Talk about Quidditch less, don’t push her to spend time with you but always be available, and try to be a little less judgmental.  If she can’t see how great you are, do try to move on eventually, alright?

 

_ JAMES begins to tear up, and he chokes a little before he nods at her. _

 

_ VALERIE smiles gently, kisses his cheek, and then stands up and goes back into the castle, leaving JAMES dazed and staring at the place where VALERIE had been sitting. _

_ _


	33. Chapter 33

**Scene Thirty-Three, Hallway/Gryffindor Common Room**

_ JAMES is running through the hallway that leads to the common room, speeding up when he sees LILY and calling out to her.  He slows, however, when he sees her in fullness. She is walking in a huff towards the portrait from the opposite direction.  Her hands are clenched and her chin is jutted outward as she looks intentionally towards the ceiling.  Her lips are pursed and she’s muttering to herself.  _

 

**JAMES** :  Lil! I was just looking for you to tell you… are you alright?

 

_ She looks at him with a start, her eyes widening. _

 

**LILY:** Oh, James.

 

_ She stands completely still, as if her feet have frozen to the ground, and JAMES reads her body language, clearly unsure how to advance.  Suddenly, a frustrated groan bursts from LILY as she all but runs to JAMES’s side. _

 

**LILY** _ (angrily and quickly) _ **:** James!  You’ll never believe what just happened! I can’t even believe what just happened! I’m-ugh-I just don’t-what-

 

_ JAMES springs into action, closing the gap between them and gently grabbing her upper arms, and the small gesture of affection instantly eases some of the tension in her body.  She relaxes and takes a deep breath before she looks up at him, exasperation filling her eyes. She sighs again before speaking. _

 

**LILY:** Emerson kissed me.

 

_ JAMES takes half a step back. _

 

**JAMES:** What?

 

**LILY:** And then I punched him.

 

**JAMES** ( _ eyes widening and smiling slightly) _ : What?

 

_ She groans and shakes her head, ignoring his expression and stepping out of his grasp in order to pace back and forth with her arms crossed. _

 

**LILY:** I just can’t even… why would he think… Why can’t I just be FRIENDS with a boy without him confessing some UNDYING love for me! I mean… I barely even liked him as a friend yet he thinks I want his slimy tongue on my face….

 

_ JAMES watches her as she paces and continues to mutter to herself. _

 

**JAMES:** You actually punched him?

 

_ She stops pacing and looks at him with confusion, cradling her bruised hand.  _

 

**LILY:** Of course I did.  What was I supposed to do? Let him slobber all over me?  The tosser was all doe-eyed and handsy and I just needed to knock that smirk off his face!

 

_ JAMES stares at her as the smile spreads widely and crookedly across his face. _

 

What?!

 

_ JAMES shakes his head and smiles gently. _

 

**JAMES:** I’m just amazed, that’s all.

 

_ LILY looks at him with anger and confusion. _

 

**LILY:**  What?  Ugh, why are boys awful!

 

_ LILY starts to storm off and JAMES laughs and gently reaches for her hand, causing her to stop and turn back. _

 

**JAMES:** Seriously, Lil. It’s just amazing to see you stand up for yourself. I’m genuinely impressed. 

 

_ LILY considers his expression for a moment to gauge his sincerity. _

 

**LILY:** Oh. ( _ She turns around entirely and sighs.)  _ Well thanks.  I guess I’m kind of impressed, too, if we’re being completely honest.

 

**JAMES:** Merlin’s pants… Lil, what you did… That’s just bangin’.  I mean, you actually punched a bloke. Like, in the face.  Was he all bloodied up after?  I bet he was.

 

_ LILY nods and smiles for a moment as she begins to chuckle to herself.  She slowly meets his eyes.  After holding his gaze for a second, her expression changes to shock and then to slight horror. _

 

**LILY:** Bloody hell, I punched a bloke.

 

_ JAMES laughs hard at her change in expression and drapes his arm around her shoulders, leading her through the portrait hole. The other boys are sitting in the common room, SIRIUS and REMUS in the chairs, talking to each other animatedly as PETER sits on the floor, looking at his friends occasionally while he sketches on the sketchpad in his lap. The two boys immediately stop their conversation as they watch their friends walk through the hole together, but PETER remains unaware. _

 

**REMUS** ( _ with a confused smile and careful hesitation) _ **:** Hello Prongs...Lilybean… what’s… going on?

 

**JAMES** ( _ matter-of-factly) _ **:** Lily punched Emerson.

 

_ LILY groans as SIRIUS and REMUS stand up from their seats and rush over, and PETER looks up from his sketch book, dropping his pencil after making an accidental line on his drawing. SIRIUS makes no effort to hide his smile, but REMUS dons a very serious expression. _

 

**SIRIUS:** Way to go, love!  I never liked that bloke.

 

**REMUS** ( _ gently grabbing and examining her bruised hand) _ **:** What happened, my lovely?  Did he hurt you?

 

_ LILY looks up at JAMES in irritation and he shrugs in response.  She steps out from under his arm and grabs both of REMUS’s hands, squeezes them, and then releases one to wrap her arm around his waist.  She leads him back to the chairs, the other boys smiling and trailing behind. _

 

**LILY:** He kissed me. We were just having tea and then all of a sudden he grabs me!  Does he think that’s romantic?  To attack me?  I’m fine, I’m just very… I’m not going to allow myself to be manhandled anymore. Merlin, I’m so fed up with these boys just throwing themselves at me!  I just wanted a casual friendship with him and he thinks we’re falling in love and then he forces himself upon me?  Why does he feel so entitled to my affection? I barely even tolerated him as a friend!  He’s not even that nice to me and he’s especially not nice to some of our peers… Ugh I just feel so ( _ she shivers)  _ used… or something… ( _ she shakes her head, collapses into a chair, puts her face into her hands, and screams in anger) _

 

_ REMUS sits on the arm of her chair and rubs her back. JAMES sits in the chair beside them and SIRIUS sits gracefully beside PETER, trying to look at PETER’s picture over his shoulder as he attempts to fix the stray marks he made. _

 

_ LILY composes herself and looks around for a moment, observing her friends and relaxing into REMUS’s touch.  She becomes alert suddenly and looks over to JAMES, grabbing his wrist and startling him. _

 

**LILY:** I’m so sorry! So thoughtless!  What was it you wanted to tell me before?  It seemed rather urgent but then I went and mucked up your focus.  I’m so sorry.

 

_ A million emotions cross his face, but he eventually settles on a fake smile and he shakes his head. _

 

**JAMES:** I totally forget what I meant to say.  I’m sure it wasn’t important at all. ( _ He looks into the fireplace to avoid betraying his words with his eyes.) _

 

**SIRIUS:** I don’t buy it.  Come on, Prongs, what’s got your tail in a knot?

 

**JAMES** _ (not making eye contact with anyone) _ **:** It’s really nothing, I swear.

 

**REMUS:** Now I don’t believe you.  What’s going on?

 

_ JAMES sighs dramatically and knows he must concede a fraction. _

 

**JAMES:** Uh… Val and I broke up, but before you panic, it was mutual and everything’s fine.

 

**LILY:** Oh my, I’m so sorry to have hogged our friends and-

 

**JAMES** _ (looking at LILY suddenly) _ **:** Please, don’t apologize. Honestly, I’m fine. Never apologize for needing our support. You have it entirely. Always.

_ She considers him for a moment and then decides it is best to let it drop.  She smiles at him softly and then their gazes settle into the fire burning in the fireplace. _

 

**LILY:** I really love you boys.

 

**JAMES:** I love you, too.

 

_ REMUS and SIRIUS exchange a look but say nothing. _

****


	34. Chapter 34

**Scene Thirty-Four, Hog’s Head**

_ SEVERUS is pacing back and forth, furiously running his trembling hands through his hair.  LUCIUS is sitting quietly in an armchair, staring into the fire, his face made up into a mask of neutrality.  SEVERUS stops behind him, pauses, and then returns to pacing. _

 

**SEVERUS:** A week! A bloody week! You must be barking.

 

**LUCIUS:**  Cissy and I decided that this would be best-

 

_ SEVERUS throws a vase across the room, the crash cutting off the end of LUCIUS’s sentence as he cringes at the sound. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (turning to face LUCIUS from across the room) _ **:** I don’t give a damn what ( _ mockingly) _ Cissy thinks is best! What about the holidays? What about me? ( _ His voice breaks on the last word). _

**LUCIUS** ( _not looking up to meet SEVERUS’s gaze)_ **:** As I was trying to explain to you before you exploded, I’ve made arrangements for you to stay with some associates of mine lodging in a forest in Wales.  You all can play with potions and fiddle with curses until you’re blue in the face, without any interruption.  

 

_ A beat. _

 

You’ll be happier there than you would have been with me, anyway.  This is for the best.

 

_ SEVERUS steps towards him, standing behind his armchair as LUCIUS continues to stare into the flames. _

 

**SEVERUS** ( _ uncharacteristically affectionate) _ **:** That’s impossible. I’d be happier with you. I’m always happier with you. I lo- ( _ he stops and clears his throat).  _ She doesn’t deserve you.  She has no concept of your worth. 

 

_ He gently strokes LUCIUS’s hair, and LUCIUS shivers and slightly pulls away from the touch, closing his eyes and then looking at his hands folded in his lap. _

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ nearly a whisper) _ **:** That’s not true.

 

_ SEVERUS stops stroking his hair and LUCIUS sits up a bit straighter. _

 

**SEVERUS:** What?

 

_ Silence stretches between them for a moment.  LUCIUS suddenly laughs without humor and stands up to face SEVERUS, the armchair now between them. _

 

**LUCIUS:** Come now, Prince.  You can’t honestly pretend to be jealous of her. You can’t pretend to care about me. You do not have that right.

 

**SEVERUS:** Lu, of course I’m-

 

**LUCIUS** _ (franticly) _ **:** NO! No no no! You don’t get to do that!  You don’t get to say that because… because no! You don’t love me and you don’t get to just pick and choose where I am allowed to go and what I am allowed to do and who is allowed to love me and who I am allowed to love! Cissy loves me and I am going to marry her in a week.

 

**SEVERUS** _ (quietly) _ **:** But do you love her?

 

_ LUCIUS hesitates a moment to collect himself before looking at SEVERUS with fierce eyes. _

 

**LUCIUS** ( _ with resolve) _ **:** I will. 

 

_ SEVERUS scoffs maliciously and slowly approaches LUCIUS around the chair. _

 

**SEVERUS** _ (with a smile) _ **:** She will never make you happy. You’re better off alone than you are with her. Does she even care about you?  Why should she? You’re spineless… A puppet of your parents and their money.  You have no original thoughts.  You have no discernible talents.  Honestly, what’s there to want from you?

 

**LUCIUS:** I don’t know.  Why don’t you ask yourself about three seconds ago when you were about to spout out your desperate declaration of love-

 

_ SEVERUS slaps him, and both men are surprised by the action.  SEVERUS opens his eyes wide and his mouth starts to form words, but LUCIUS takes a breath and then the loud crack of LUCIUS disapparating breaks the tension.  _

 

_ SEVERUS stares at the place where LUCIUS had been standing.  Slowly, he sinks to the ground and begins to sob. _

_ _


	35. Chapter 35

**Scene Thirty-Five, Hogwarts Express**

_ The MARAUDERS and LILY sit together in a compartment, SIRIUS with his head in REMUS’s lap, PETER with his nose in his sketchbook, and JAMES and LILY sitting next to each other with JAMES by the window.  The group is cozy and laughing as the train travels across a snow-covered landscape. _

 

**REMUS:** Oh, rats, I meant to say goodbye to Dora! Do you know where she is?

 

**SIRIUS:** Don’t tell me you rate that bird?

 

**LILY:** She’s not a bird and she’s also not on the train.  She said she was spending break in the mountains… somewhere… and I’m not sure who she’s spending them with… I think she mentioned someone named Phil?  Wow, I know shockingly little about this, maybe I should be worried…

 

**JAMES:** I’m sure she’ll be fine.  Worst case, she comes back with her eyebrows singed off again, but I can’t see her getting into any real trouble.

 

 _JAMES_ _rubs LILY’s back gently and gives her a reassuring smile. She smiles back at him._

 

_ The group all turns as they hear a ruckus outside, and they see SEVERUS walking past.  His face is red and swollen, and tears are still streaming out of his eyes as he rushes past. _

 

_ LILY makes to stand, but JAMES and REMUS both gently hold her down.  She sighs and sinks back into the chair. REMUS returns his focus to playing with SIRIUS’s hair (after SIRIUS grabs REMUS’s hand and returns it to his hair, indicating that none of the arrangement was REMUS’s idea), but JAMES doesn’t let go of LILY’s arm. _

 

_ JAMES and LILY look at each other for an intense moment until PETER unexpectedly breaks the silence. _

 

 **PETER** _(pausing repeatedly to clear his throat and stop his stutter):_ So, some of you maybe have noticed that I’ve been sketching a lot more than usual as of late.... And I wasn’t ever… I didn’t want to show any of you… but I just received an owl from Mum saying that Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy were injured in a fight in Surrey, and Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy are two of the most formidable… they’re very, well, scary. I’ve known them forever, and I know they’re terrible people, but the fact that they both missed their only son’s wedding because they were too injured…

 

Well, it got me thinking.

 

**SIRIUS:** Try to avoid that, it causes more pain than it’s worth.

 

_ PETER chuckles then continues. _

 

**PETER:** Well, it made me realize that nothing is permanent, not even us… so I made you all these - I used the duplicating spell! Remember when ( _ looking at LILY and REMUS)  _ you were helping me with that - well I made you these.

 

_ He hands everyone a framed sketch of the five of them, smiling through the window of the Three Broomsticks.  The drawing doesn’t move, but it sparkles of something magical and great all the same. _

 

_ The group beams at the sketches while PETER anxiously awaits their reaction.  LILY is the first to react, leaping over to smother him in a hug, and when she releases him he sees the boys beaming up at him. _

 

**REMUS:** These are remarkable.  Truly.

 

**JAMES:** Thanks, Wormtail. I can’t wait to hang it up.

 

**PETER:** You really… ?

 

**SIRIUS:** Yes, we really! Thank you.

 

_ SIRIUS gets up from REMUS’s lap to pat PETER on the back. _

 

**PETER:** Oh, and can you send this to Pandora… when you get a chance?

 

_ He passes her a folded paper that has been wrapping in a sleek blue ribbon. LILY smiles knowingly. _

 

**LILY:** Of course.  And though I understand where you’re coming from, I don’t think you need worry too hard.  None of us are going anywhere.

 

**SIRIUS:** Unless of course one of us scampers off and joins the Dark Lord himself.

 

_ REMUS and LILY swat him on the arm. _

 

Joking. I’m only joking.

 

**LILY:** Joking aside, I am going to miss you boys over break.  Promise you’ll write?

 

_ Simultaneously: _

 

**REMUS:** Of course.

 

**JAMES:** Yeah.

 

_ PETER nods. _

 

**SIRIUS:**  Bloody likely.

 

_ She turns to SIRIUS and scowls while he chuckles. _

 

**SIRIUS:** I’m not going to bother writing you unless you promise to come visit.

 

_ LILY looks over at JAMES, who is attempting to be calm but is clearly on the edge of his seat. _

 

**LILY:** Maybe I will.

 

_ Fade out. _

_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! This is episode 1, and episode 2 is in the works!


End file.
